Learning to Live Out Loud!

Jump

2008-07-17T09:43:00.001-07:00

JUMP

Several years ago my parents and in-laws gave our boys a trampoline. A fifteen-footer with netting around the outside so kids don't end up head first in the flowers. Since then my boys and I have logged more hours on that trampoline than I could begin to count. When we first
got it, my older son, who was five at the time, discovered that if he timed his bounce with mine, he could launch higher than if he was jumping on his own.

I remember the first time he called my wife, Kristen, out into the backyard to watch him jump off of my bounce. Now mind you, up until this point he was maybe getting a foot higher because of his new technique. But this one particular time, when my wife was watching for the first time, something freakish happened in the space-time continuum. When he jumped, there was this perfect convergence of his weight and my weight and his jump and my jump, and I'm sure barometric pressure and air temperature had something to do with it too, because he went really high.

I don't mean a few feet off the mat. I mean he went over my head. Forty pounds of boy, clawing the air like a cat thrown from a second-story window, and a man making eye contact with his wife and thinking, This is not good.

She told us she didn't think our new trick was very safe and we should be careful. Which we were. Until she went inside the house.

It is on this trampoline that God has started to make more sense to me. Because when it comes to faith, everybody has it. People often tell me they could never have faith, that it is just too hard. The idea that some people have faith and others don't is a popular one. But it is not a true one. Everybody has faith. Everybody is following somebody. What often happens is that people with specific beliefs about God end up backed into a corner, defending their faith against
the calm, cool rationality of others. As if they have faith and beliefs and others don't.

But that is not true. Let's take an example: Some people believe we were made by a creator who has plans and purposes for his creation, while others believe there is no greater meaning to life, no grand design, and we exist not because of some divine intention but because of random chance. This is not a discussion between people of faith and people who don't have faith. Both perspectives are faith perspectives, built on systems of belief. The person who says we are here by chance and there is no greater meaning has just as many beliefs as the person who says there's a creator. Maybe even more.

Think about some of the words that are used in these kinds of discussions, one of the most common being the phrase "open-minded". Often the person with spiritual convictions is seen as close-minded and others are seen as open-minded. What is fascinating to me is that at the center of the Christian faith is the assumption that this life isn't all there is. That there is more to life than the material. That existence is not limited to what we can see, touch, measure, taste,
hear, and observe. One of the central assertions of the Christian worldview is that there is "more". Those who oppose this insist that this is all there is, that only what we can measure and observe and see with our eyes is real. There is nothing else. Which perspective is more "closed-minded"? Which perspective is more "open"?

An atheist is a person of tremendous faith. In our discussions about the things that matter most then, we aren't talking about faith or no faith. Belief or no belief. We are talking about faith in what? Belief in what? The real question isn't whether we have it or not, but what we have put it in.

Everybody follows somebody. All of us make decisions every day about what is important, how to treat people, and what to do with our lives. These decisions come from what we believe about every aspect of our existence. And we got our beliefs from somewhere. We have been formed,
every one of us, by this complicated mix of people and places and things. Parents and teachers and artists and scientists and mentors – we are each taking all of these influences and living our lives according to which teachings we have made our own. Some insist that they aren't influenced by any person or any religion, that they think for themselves. And that's an honorable perspective. The problem is they got that perspective from... somebody. They're following somebody even if they insist it is themselves they are following.

Everybody is following somebody. Everybody has faith in something and somebody.

We are all believers.

**

Rob Bell lives with his family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where he's the founding pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church. He also teaches in a short film format called NOOMA, and he's the author of "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality."

Matthew 10

2008-07-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

Matthew 10

Jesus Sends Out the Twelve Apostles

Jesus called his twelve disciples together and gave them authority to cast out evil^[a] spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness. 2 Here are the names of the twelve apostles:

first, Simon (also called Peter),
then Andrew (Peter’s brother),
James (son of Zebedee),
John (James’s brother),
3 Philip,
Bartholomew,
Thomas,
Matthew (the tax collector),
James (son of Alphaeus),
Thaddaeus,^[b]
4 Simon (the zealot^[c]),
Judas Iscariot (who later betrayed him).

5 Jesus sent out the twelve apostles with these instructions: “Don’t go to the Gentiles or the Samaritans, 6 but only to the people of Israel—God’s lost sheep. 7 Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near.^[d] 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received!

9 “Don’t take any money in your money belts—no gold, silver, or even copper coins. 10 Don’t carry a traveler’s bag with a change of clothes and sandals or even a walking stick. Don’t hesitate to accept hospitality, because those who work deserve to be fed.

11 “Whenever you enter a city or village, search for a worthy person and stay in his home until you leave town. 12 When you enter the home, give it your blessing. 13 If it turns out to be a worthy home, let your blessing stand; if it is not, take back the blessing. 14 If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave. 15 I tell you the truth, the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah will be better off than such a town on the judgment day.

16 “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. 17 But beware! For you will be handed over to the courts and will be flogged with whips in the synagogues. 18 You will stand trial before governors and kings because you are my followers. But this will be your opportunity to tell the rulers and other unbelievers about me.^[e] 19 When you are arrested, don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time. 20 For it is not you who will be speaking—it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

21 “A brother will betray his brother to death, a father will betray his own child, and children will rebel against their parents and cause them to be killed. 22 And all nations will hate you because you are my followers.^[f] But everyone who endures to the end will be saved. 23 When you are persecuted in one town, flee to the next. I tell you the truth, the Son of Man^[g] will return before you have reached all the towns of Israel.

24 “Students^[h] are not greater than their teacher, and slaves are not greater than their master. 25 Students are to be like their teacher, and slaves are to be like their master. And since I, the master of the household, have been called the prince of demons,^[i] the members of my household will be called by even worse names!

26 “But don’t be afraid of those who threaten you. For the time is coming when everything that is covered will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. 27 What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the housetops for all to hear!

28 “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.^[j] 29 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin^[k]? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

32 “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.

34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’^[l]

37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. 38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. 39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

40 “Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me. 41 If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God,^[m] you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs. 42 And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.”

Footnotes:

Matthew 10:1 Greek unclean.
Matthew 10:3 Other manuscripts read Lebbaeus; still others read Lebbaeus who is called Thaddaeus.
Matthew 10:4 Greek the Cananean, an Aramaic term for Jewish nationalists.
Matthew 10:7 Or has come, or is coming soon.
Matthew 10:18 Or But this will be your testimony against the rulers and other unbelievers.
Matthew 10:22 Greek on account of my name.
Matthew 10:23 “Son of Man” is a title Jesus used for himself.
Matthew 10:24 Or Disciples.
Matthew 10:25 Greek Beelzeboul; other manuscripts read Beezeboul; Latin version reads Beelzebub.
Matthew 10:28 Greek Gehenna.
Matthew 10:29 Greek one assarion [i.e., one “as,” a Roman coin equal to 1/16 of a denarius].
Matthew 10:36 Mic 7:6.
Matthew 10:41 Greek receive a prophet in the name of a prophet.

Kick in the head...

2008-07-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

What's better a broken heart or a kick in the head?

I think at times in my life I would say a kick in the head for sure. Honesty can be so brutal and when coming from someone else ugly. My instinct is to be mad but honestly how can I be? Truth comes in so many forms and I know this one is in love no matter how much I hate it and wish I didn't have to agree. Can I go kicking and screaming into the night? Can I drag my heels resist and say NO? That wouldn't be the right answer and I care to much to do anything but quietly agree as I suck in my bottom lip and sigh...

Things will be normal before I can blink life will all go back to the way it was.

Footprints

2008-07-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d08X2lN669k

Enough said?

Bo said it best...

2008-07-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Want to go on a roller coaster ride? Join me on a day in my life. I guess I need to put this out there in order for people to pray with me and hold me. Break out your graphs. It has been since February 5th, 2005 since I accepted Christ. Some people still consider me a "baby" Christian others would battle that. I have no clue. I am on the roller coaster. As a new Christian I was higher than a kite overjoyed and learning at lightening speeds. In the past 3.5 years there have been drops when I was in waiting to "hear" God, but it was always short lived and quickly rebounded. Well.. I am currently in a "winter" of my faith.. praying for the rain. I am at the very bottom of the hill but.. looking upward waiting to hear Christ in my life once again. I am by nature an anxious person so I go searching for what could be "wrong" with me. I want to take control of this situation and get back up on top quickly.

To make me more anxious.. I am heading home to New Hampshire next Friday and will be surrounded by non-believers makes my nerves even more rattled. I went home last summer but was standing very solid on my rock. What will happen if I am unbalanced?

I know this must happen on His terms and His time but.. wish he would hurry up!!! :)

My "instinct" is to stay home and hide but I really don't think that is what God is wanting me to do. A good friend told me to stop being a control freak and Be still. I truly want too... But my anxiety is taking over. I suffer from an anxiety disorder so behaviors tend to take on a mind of their own.

PLEASE pray for me... I cannot tell you exactly what to pray for but... He does! Take it to Him and maybe He will speak through you to me.

Thanks...

Drew

2008-07-11T19:17:00.000-07:00

Drew is our Church Worship leader and a good friend! He is a very talented musician who doesn't give himself nearly enough credit. This is rare in true musicians. God has blessed him with the ability to write, sing and play. He has moved me to tears during worship on many occasions. Just when I think "Oh I have heard this song before", God uses Drew to touch my heart in a new way. Powerful and awe inspiring.

Music is one gift I honestly do not have. I like to sing "for fun" and being silly but nothing serious. I think I sang "You are my sunshine" on stage in front of 300 people when I was 4. I was taking singing lessons and that was my "solo". It is one song I have sung my entire life and the song that got me through the longest nights in the NICU. My singing is silly and touches no one but the poor dogs in the yard.

Drew's voice is a gift...

I hope you'll take a minute and go and check out one of his bands new songs just posted on myspace. http://www.myspace.com/drewdieckmann

For those who go to church with me, that is Chelvis on Bass and Robert on the drums too!!

Drew.. you rock my free world! Thank you for making my days just a little brighter. I Love ya!

Personal Post...

2008-07-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

My best friend Lori use to ask me on a daily basis "Where have you seen God today?" Sometimes I saw Him pulling me out of something, sometimes in to something, and sometimes He was working hard to make me just "be".

I have had an unusual week. My emotions have been high and all over the place. But, where exactly have I seen or heard God? I have seen satan knocking on my door tempting me with my greatest weakness's beckoning me to cross that line. In that, Christ has been there watching waiting to see exactly what I will do. Being supportive in silence, allowing me to stick my toe out and feel the warm sweet air waiting for me to realize it's infested with sharks. Waiting for me to stand by Him and honor Him. At times I have wanted to run and take shelter in a closet in the safety of that old Vegas saying. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". Like Vegas though, eventually you must open that closet door and leave. Sitting there waiting for you to open that door and crawl out is your Best Friend, Your Father, Your Savior. Sigh.. that water isn't as desirable anymore when you consider the consequences.

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

Thinking about it I can honestly say I have seen Christ in the some of the most minuscule ways this week. In a song, in a text, in a hug, in a e-mail, in a rant, in my quiet office, in the news, in my sons eyes, in Rick's laughter, and in my friends warm faces. I realize that maybe when you stop looking so hard he is actually right there. RIGHT there under your very own nose.

It can be as obvious as the friend who gives up her day to take care of your child or the person who arrives at the 3 way stop first yet let's you go first. It's also in the big hug a friend sends by text just because your having a depressing afternoon. I could list many many more but instead YOU go looking and let me know where YOU saw God today!!

Oil and Gas Prices SUCK!!!!

2008-07-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

This is definitely the reason for the spike in Oil and Gas prices.

All airline CEO's have approved the venture. Please help spread the word.

Click on this URL to take action now
http://capwiz.com/sosnow/issues/alert/?alertid=11571321

$4.03 yep that's what I paid in gas today. We moved to MS in April 2004. Upon arriving we were so excited to see gas as low in some areas as $1.38. NO JOKE. Will we hit $5.00 by Labor Day?

Painful is what it is as with the gas prices everything else has gone up too as company's are taking a hit due to the high prices. I am worried for our economy. What's next?

Praying.....

One at G8

2008-07-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

ONE has been on the ground in Hokkaido, Japan, making sure leaders of the G8 heard your voice as they gathered for their annual summit this week. The result has been mixed...

Before the summit, the Financial Times leaked that the G8 may backtrack on their 2005 Gleneagles commitments to the world's poorest. But thanks in no small part to a massive outcry from around the world—over a million people in 190 countries, including nearly 200,000 ONE members—they reaffirmed their promises.

Unfortunately, reaffirming their promises doesn’t address the fact that their commitments are not being backed up by money. Germany, the UK, and the US are doing well in delivering their part, but the other countries are lagging behind, and dragging down the group as a whole.

To learn more, check out the analysis from the G8 summit on the ONE Blog:
http://www.one.org/blog/2008/07/10/1963?id=400-3959200-ay8rHbx&t=1

We’ve helped stop the G8 from slipping back, and encouraged them to take some small steps forward. But they didn’t meet our request to deliver on their promises, nor did they set a timeline for spending $10 billion in pledged agricultural aid.

The G8 still have the chance to hit the targets they set for themselves, and we’ll have more opportunities to pressure them to do so in the coming months.

Thank you for your voice,

Josh Peck, ONE.org

P.S. There is one piece of unequivocal good news today. PEPFAR, America’s aggressive five-year plan to prevent and treat global AIDS, malaria and TB, is about to take a big step forward. This bill has been held up by a handful of senators for months. But yesterday, Senator Reid responded to the calls of ONE members and our allies in Congress, by demonstrating leadership and taking action to get PEPFAR moving. Learn more on the ONE Blog: http://www.one.org/r?r=50&id=400-3959200-ay8rHbx&t=2

Lacy May.....

2008-07-08T17:31:00.001-07:00

This is Lacy May, the newest addition to our family. She is a mutt! But a very cute mutt mind you. Lacy is a little like Gizmo from Gremlins. At times she acts like a Gremlin too. We got her from some friends because they were away too much to deal with such a high maintenance dog. Lacy is 7 months old born in November 07'. She weighs about 4 pounds and I doubt she is going to get much bigger. Lacy is petite but has the heart of a lion. Since getting her she has learned her name, to sit, to come, and to "settle". She is a little hyper at times.. lol! She is also the underwear stealer. She will drag them half way across the house regardless that they are bigger than she is. Lacy is beyond sweet and very attentive. She is 100% a lap dog and thinks she is human. She LOVES Miller our other dog who is 4. We really love Lacy and she has become a member of the Hocutt Clan!

Laundry, Laundry, and more Laundry!!

2008-07-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

Laundry, Dirty Laundry, Clean Laundry, the mountain just grows and grows. It's a never ending battle for a Mom. But when exactly did it become a Mom's job anyway? I know I am "home" more than Rick but does that make me the do all girl?? Child raising is tough work. Now we not only have the title of stay at home Mom but also everyone's personal housekeeper and do it all chick. Moms do laundry, clean house, make sure you men have clean underwear, a clean towel to dry your naked body when you get out of the shower, and of course a clean shower to do it in.

First I have to sort the nasty dirty laundry which let's face it when you have a 5 year old laundry can get pretty nasty. Plus a husband who thinks he's superman fixing cars, doing yard work, and just plain rolling in the filth. Think pigpen! Sorting can be stressful as everyone has a different concept of "how" to sort. My theory is different... Unless an item is new it's all shirts together, all pants or shorts together, socks and underwear together. NOW if an item is new and red or some other color that might bleed it is washed alone. Nothing worse than turning my family's white's into a lovely shade of pink. eeekk... BAD!

Next it's time to carry it OUTSIDE (yeah here in the south they like to put laundry rooms outside of the house). Then load the washer, put in the soap, and wait. Now as the female of the house this also means I do all the grocery shopping. This means I also am in charge of picking out which brand of laundry detergent we use. Which fabric softener, which dryer sheet, which stain remover. Now, to a man this means waking in and grabbing anything. To a woman this means standing in front of the aisle smelling jugs, comparing price, and polling every woman they know to see what they use and like. Keep in mind that there is over 55 brands of detergents to choose from, add in the choices in each brand, powder, liquid, different scents, it's a serious brand overload. Picking the wrong brand could end in disaster and lead to itching private areas. This will of course lead to ONE grouchy family.

Back out to the laundry room to switch the loads, one to the dryer and another dirty pile into the washer. Then head back to the house to... wait! Sigh....

FINALLY, the first load is done and it's time to do the REAL PAIN!! Folding, hanging, and putting away. Depending on the load this can take as short as 5 minutes to as long as 30. There is NOTHING I can't stand more than folding socks. It's such a pain matching them and figuring out who's is who's. Hang up before everything gets full of wrinkles or then it might mean ironing too. Let's just say this wife DOES NOT IRON!! I really suck at ironing and my husband refuses to allow me to do it. Hmm.. maybe I should suck at doing laundry too??

Today, is laundry day in my house! I have folded 3 loads and have 5 more waiting anxiously for me. I can't wait till I can teach Alex to do laundry.

Yankee in the South - Part 2

2008-07-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

5 more things I have learned in the south...

1. "Git-R-Done": Having married a man whose Father was born and raised in EBF, Berry, Alabama where the claim to fame is a Piggly Wiggly, I have actually heard this one ALOT! This basically can be sued in regards to anything. Larry The Cable Guy did NOT start the trend of this saying but rather it started long before he was born.

"Git R Done is a common phrase used mostly by the people living in the southern states. The term is used when a person is about to tackle a task are it can simply be used in any conversation for no apparent reason. Usually Git R Done is used to state how you or someone feels about something in an excited type of phrase. Most people think that only rednecks and wannabe southerners use this phrase but thats completely untrue."

2. "Y'all": I actually use this! This take the place of "You Guys" which I also use on occasion. It basically refers to more than one person although it doesn't really matter southerners use it in every form.

Use of the contraction y'all as the second person plural pronoun.^[3] Its uncombined form — you all — is used less frequently.^[4]

When speaking about a group, y'all is general (I know y'all) —as in that group of people is familiar to you and you know them as a whole, whereas all y'all is much more specific and means you know each and every person in that group, not as a whole, but individually ("I know all y'all.") Y'all can also be used with the standard "-s" possessive.

"I've got y'all's assignments here."

Y'all is distinctly separate from the singular you. The statement, "I gave y'all my payment last week," is more precise than "I gave you my payment last week." You (if interpreted as singular) could imply the payment was given directly to the person being spoken to — when that may not be the case.
Some people misinterpret the phrase "all y'all" as meaning that Southerners use the word y'all as singular and all y'all as plural. However, all y'all is used to specify that all of the members of the second person plural are included, that is "all y'all" as opposed to "some of y'all"

Want to read more on Southern American English just click HERE! (Drew they even talk about the diphthong). :)

3. Pecan: I will never in a THOUSAND years say p-kän like they do down here. It will be a
pkn pie that I eat every Christmas. Luckily, I have taught my son to say it like a good Yankee should despite my Father in Laws efforts. I also have to say that I had never seen a Pecan tree before moving here and was amazed at the amount of nuts it produces. Our Friends The Guerry's have a ton of tree's in their yard and pick them up to sell. We got to go over one day and pick a bunch up to help me make my Coffee Cake and Pecan Pie over the Holiday's. Pecan's are expensive.

4. Grits: is a corn-based food common in the Southern United States, consisting of coarsely ground corn. It is similar to other thick maize-based porridges from around the world such as polenta. It also has a lesser resemblance to farina, a thinner porridge.

Hominy grits is grits made from nixtamalized corn, or hominy.

Yellow speckled grits is also very popular^{[citation needed]} in the southern states, named for the black specks in its yellow body.

Now I must admit that seeing grits for the first time was nasty. I was told over and over that I needed to try them but it took me 2 years before I finally gave in. While on a Christian Retreat they made Cheese Grits for breakfast. Rick told me to add a bunch of pepper and some salt or they would be to bland for me so I did and they were YUMMY! I have since had an incredible shrimp and grits dinner that was spicy and intense. I still have not managed to order grits for my side to my breakfast while at the Huddle House or cooked them in my own home but maybe sometime soon. This is one southern food that is just starting to grow on me.

5. Hunting: This is a sport here! People where the camouflage clothing like it is the latest trend. They even sell a pink style of camo for the female hunters. Did you know people even hunt squirrel. It's crazy! They spend tons of money prepping their "deer hunting property". Yes they buy property JUST to deer hunt for. They set up their tree stands and sit up their all day. Children as young as 4 join their Dad's on these "manly" adventures. During Deer Hunting season you can expect to see at least 1 if not 2 deers in the back of a pick up truck just about every time you leave the house! My Neighbor is 8 and has shot himself an 8 point buck last season. Crazy... and something I work hard to shield Alex from. I pray he NEVER takes this hobby up.

Well.. that's 5 more... More soon!

The Yankee Guide to the South

2008-07-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

The Yankee Guide to the South
By: Joel Baker

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

5. Do not buy food at the movie store.

6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.

7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

8. People walk slower here.

9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".

21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.

23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.

24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.

25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"

26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.

27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.

28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.

29. Learn to play softball.

30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.

31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.

32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.

33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time.

A Yankee in the South....

2008-07-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

I am a born and raised "Yankee" living in the South. I grew up and lived in New Hampshire for 23 years. I lived in a middle class almost totally white town. Needless to say it was gigantic culture shock when I arrived. I WISH I had been blogging back then because it would have been such fun. Numerous times in the last several days I have said "Ooh I need to blog about that..." most of the time "that" involving some crazy Southern thing I just learned. I seriously could write a book with all I have compiled BUT sadly some other smart Yankee beat me to it! "Suddenly Southern: A Yankee's guide to living in Dixie"

When I first arrived I literally could not understand a word anyone said. Worse they couldn't understand me. Normally within 2 minutes they would ask every so sweetly "yur not from round here r ya". My response "how did you ever guess". DUH!!!

Here are just a few of my favorite Southern knowledge that I have gained since arriving...

1. Let me just say catfish are "raised". There are actual people who take on the job of being a "catfish farmer" and I KNOW them. CRAZY isn't it?? I really thought people were pulling my leg when they told me this. I am DYING to get up close and personal with a catfish farm and promise to post pictures when I do!

2. Nabs are an inexpensive small packet of crackers with cheese or peanut butter filling. And to think all this time I thought nabs is when you grab something. Like "I am going to nab you" or "The police are going to nab you". Who woulda thunk it? Here's a little proof to add on to my story!

"Many snack cracker products manufactured by Lance are commonly referred to as "Nabs". The term "Nabs" today is used to refer to any type of snack crackers, most commonly those made and manufactured by Lance, Inc. Many in the southeastern United States prefer the term Nabs to generically mean the specific Toastchee brand of Lance crackers. The term has its origins back to 1924 when the National Biscuit Company (Nabisco) introduced a snack, put in a 5-cent sealed packet called "Peanut Sandwich Packet". They soon added a second, "Sorbetto Sandwich Packet". These packets allowed salesmen to sell to soda fountains, road stands, milk bars, lunch rooms, news stands etc. Sales increased and in 1928 the company adopted and started to use the name NAB, which immediately won the approval of the public. This term caught on and is still widely used today."

3. Sweet Tea is "wicked" AWESOME and the entire country just needs to get a grip and start making it!!

4. Okra is a vegetable! Down here in the south it's most often fried and served as a side option to almost any meal. I personal think it looks like green mush and tastes about the same BUT down here eating okra is like going to church you just do it! :) I am standing my ground on this and will not be eating okra EVER!!!!

5. "God love her but..." This is the Southern polite way of putting some one down. I guess they think but adding that first the insult won't hurt so much. "God love her but she is crazier then a turkey on Thanksgiving". I LOVE this saying.. it seriously cracks me up. Sometimes they will see someone doing something bad, crazy, etc and they will say "God love her..." all drawn out and with such dripping pity. It actually makes you feel bad too! Sadly, I couldn't find a good link for this one.

I Have LOTS more but today we will start with 5.

20 Years off my life!

2008-07-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

I have to share a story about Alex today. We were at the base pool and Alex and some other kids were all jumping off the diving board. Another Mommy and her 2 year old daughter were in the water hanging on to the side and I was standing on deck near the ladder. Alex dove in and came up, just as he wiped the water off his face another 4 yr. old little boy ran down the diving board and jumped.... knees bent... right into Alex's head. The Mommy in the water tossed her daughter on the side (she was wearing a life jacket) and headed towards Alex. The instant I saw the boy start to jump I flung my hat off my head and dove straight in after my boy knowing the pain he was going to be feeling. I got to him just as he came up crying. I snatched him up trying to calm him down as we swam to the side while I secretly searched for blood.

My heart raced from watching a 40+ pound kid jump on my sons head and from diving in to rescue him. Scared the CRAP out of me. Alex cried for several minutes and said it really scared him as he couldn't breathe. He clung to me while I tried to focus on him and remember accidents happen and the child was only 4. (My Mommy instinct was to yell at the kid, lol). Within 5 minutes Alex decided he was fine and was back up on the board jumping off again.

Several lifeguards all commented on my quick reaction and Alex's calm recovery. It could have been so much worse and we were all blessed that it wasn't.

But I SWEAR it shaved at least 20 years off my life.....................

1 Peter 3:8

2008-07-03T07:39:00.001-07:00

We Need Each Other: To Wait and Weep With
by Rick Warren

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

As a pastor, I see situations daily that nobody should ever have to go through alone. Nobody should ever have to wait in the hospital while a loved one is in life-or-death surgery. No woman should ever have to wait alone for the lab report on a problem pregnancy. Nobody should ever have to wait for news from a battlefield alone. Nobody should ever have to stand at the edge of an open grave alone. Nobody should ever have to spend the first night alone when their spouse has just walked out.

Life’s tough times and tragedies are inevitable – each of us will face them. But we don’t need to go through them alone. We need God’s safety net to help hold us up through these difficult times.

What is God’s safety net? It is a group of other believers – a handful of people who are really committed to you. We call this kind of group a community. Here’s God’s plan for community: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it” (1 Corinthians 12:26 NIV). Community is God’s answer to despair.

Romans 12:15 expresses a similar idea: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (NIV).

The first part of that verse is easy. When something good happens to someone, it’s often easy to join in on the party.

But when someone is having a tough time, it can seem more difficult. But, really, it’s simple. When you’re going through a crisis, you don’t want advice; you just want somebody to be there – to sit with you, hold your hand, put an arm around your shoulder, or cry with you.

As Paul tells us, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV). Encouraging someone else doesn’t always mean giving a pep talk or words of wisdom. Sometimes the best kind of encouragement is just sitting in silence – waiting and weeping with a friend.

Do you have a safety net – a group of fellow Christians you know you can count on in life’s toughest times? If not, go out today and begin building those friendships. The hard times in life are inevitable, and only a fool would go into them unprepared.

4i's

2008-07-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

I want to say this picture says it all but of course I have more to say. When I first put my new lenses on my eyes and brain freaked out. Everything just looked weird. I don't want to say clear but almost too bright. My brain literally hurt. I took them off to drive home in fear I might crash the car. Once home I pulled the shades shut and sat in my recliner, lenses on, trying to allow my eyes to adjust and focus. I was amazed at how bright and clear my computer screen seemed. I was also impressed that I could read the names on the videos on the shelf across the room. Whoa! I finally felt settled about an hour later but then it was time to leave and when I stood up my eyes freaked out again. I kept catching myself looking at things either above or below my glasses. Ugh.. I was warned I may have a headache off and on for a few days. I tried to wear them the rest of the evening but finally at 10pm I gave up and put them away. I am surprised how hard my brain is fighting looking at things "properly". I guess they have been trained and are stubborn. IMAGINE... my eyes are even stubborn. Ugh....

As to the way I look.. well.. since I had been in the pool today my hair is insane, plus my cold sore isn't gone, my face is swollen, I'm PMSing, and well tough crap all your getting is what you see! If you don't like it... send me a e-mail!!

Rick decided he can actually see things better using my glasses and has decided he may need to steal them. I explained maybe he TOO is getting old and needs glasses. He argued that he has 20/20 vision YET could not tell me that last time he saw an optometrist.

Alex LOVED my glasses and told me I looked HOT! LOL.. ahhh to revel in the fact my 5 year old thinks his Mama is hot. He was very excited and said "now we match" "we are so cool", "people who wear glasses are not blind they just have a little extra style". Yeah being 5 rocks!

Tell the G8 to follow through on their promises!

2008-07-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

The Financial Times ran an article yesterday with a lead that could hardly be more alarming: "Leaders of the Group of Eight rich nations are set to backtrack on their landmark pledge at the Gleneagles summit in 2005 to increase development aid to Africa to $25bn a year."

It is astonishing that there is even debate within the G8 as to whether or not they should keep their promises. But the fact that there is a debate adds urgency to our call to the G8 to deliver on their commitments.

Tell the G8 to follow through on their promises, click below to sign our petition:
http://www.one.org/2008g8/o.pl?id=390-3959200-f9W2ILx&t=2

Petition text:

We call upon you to build on recent success in fighting extreme poverty by delivering your commitments on healthcare, agriculture and education and by helping citizens in developing countries in their efforts to improve governance and fight corruption.

This potential reversal comes at a time when we are seeing results from investments in development. For example, thanks to distribution of bed nets and increased access to anti-malarial drugs, in Rwanda both deaths and cases of malaria have dropped by two-thirds since mid-2006.

As malaria still kills around one million people a year, it is clear that we must replicate success stories like this. But it won’t happen if the G8 backtrack on their commitments.

Please tell the G8 leaders that aid works and is desperately needed:
http://www.one.org/2008g8/o.pl?id=390-3959200-f9W2ILx&t=3

Thank you for your voice!

One.org

You Fail....

2008-06-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

I was handed my "in training" card for the 4 eyed geek club today. The bill was steep and the kick to the ego was hard. Yes, I failed my eye exam and am getting O-L-D. The doctor laughed pretty hard at me when I said I hadn't had my eyes checked since I was 16. Then he asked me to read the bottom line which looked like Chinese writing on crack to me. My eyes glazed over as I struggled to focus and I suddenly felt like I was sitting in Ms. Lavoie's History class praying she didn't call on me because I didn't do my homework. UGH...

The doctor was nice as he watched my ego slide out the door and down the nearest toilet. He even was polite when I asked him if he was pulling my leg and to do the test again. So yeah not only did I fail it once, I failed it twice. I don't rock.... today! :(

As we get up to leave after our discussion on choosing glasses and the fact I cannot wear contacts due to astigmatism I do the insane, I ask well how bad are they? He responds with the bitterly sobering "If you went to take a driver's test today you would fail." OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

SO.. I ordered me some extra eyes to help this old hag try and attempt to drive. I cannot promise I'll post any pictures of myself but maybe... if I have a good hair day. They are suppose to be in by Friday. OH Joy... lol

I declared today that I am now having a mid-life crisis. I got my haircut and not loving it, I got a horrible cold sore on my lip, I failed my eye exam and had to get glasses AND I am PMSing. A friend asked me what I plan to do next run out and get a Harley and I decided no safer to become a Lesbian. :)

Another Day - Another Trick!

2008-06-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

I wish I could be 5 again. The summer before you start kindergarten before anything gets complicated. No clue about relationships except to love and to be loved. Where the hardest thing is deciding what to eat for breakfast. Man... what a life my child lives. I LOVE watching Alex grow up. At times it makes me sad cause he is my only and last baby but mostly I relish every breath he takes as if it were his last. Having seen my child sitting on death's door often gives me a different perspective than most. I try hard to enjoy even the hardest days when I want to lock myself in my bathroom for the longest Mommy time out ever. lol But then Alex does something like pray for me on how own in the ar on the way to the doctor because I have a cold and he's afraid I'll get a shot. My sweet, sweet child.....

Let's see.. I guess I have to start this story back on Friday. We were having our normal afternoon at the pool when my son decided to learn how to dive. Now for those who don't know Alex in person he is fearless. He also is extremely determined. Once he decides to do something he just does it with very little effort. At 14 months I thought he would never walk a week later he was running across the room. seriously.... Anyway, he decides he wants to dive.

So I take him over to the edge of the pool sit him down and show him a sitting dive, Boom he does it. Okay, I stand up and dive off the edge, after 5 dives he does the sweetest dive ever. So Sweet that the lifeguard leans over the stand and tells him man that was awesome! His legs were tight and straight and even his toes were pointed. It was insane.... Next I try and get him to do it off the diving board. I insist he's ready BUT because he IS my child he is also EXTREMELY stubborn and if he doesn't want to do it... it is NOT going to happen. NO WAY he says... Several lifeguards and a few older boys all try and convince him. NOPE....

Finally he gives in and I get him to sit on the end of the board and dive down. Does that like a pro so I figure NO PROBLEM.. he'll do it now. NOOOO.. he tells everyone "I'm too young maybe when I am 13". WHAT!?!? 13!?!?!?!? So we leave the pool with no standing dive... bummer...

Rick talks to him later that night but it's still a no go. Saturday evening Rick gets the chance to head to the pool with us for the first time. Rick was blown away at his swimming and jumping. Well now Daddy's here so it's time to impress. Rick shows him how to do a squatting dive. (now mind you myself and 3 other people ALL showed him the same thing the day before) BUT Daddy did it so he walks out and does a PERFECT dive. I am stunned (and honestly a little crest-fallen because he did it for Daddy and not me, and I am the swimming instructor). We cheer of course and go crazy as everyone in the pool looks on like we are the biggest dorks ever. 5 dives later he is standing straight up diving in.... ahhh such a proud Mama!!!

...... Glasses ......

2008-06-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

"20/20 vision is a term used to express normal visual acuity (the clarity or sharpness of vision) measured at a distance of 20 feet. If you have 20/20 vision, you can see clearly at 20 feet what should normally be seen at that distance. If you have 20/100 vision, it means that you must be as close as 20 feet to see what a person with normal vision can see at 100 feet.20/20 does not necessarily mean perfect vision. 20/20 vision only indicates the sharpness or clarity of vision at a distance. There are other important vision skills, including peripheral awareness or side vision, eye coordination, depth perception, focusing ability and color vision that contribute to your overall visual ability.
Some people can see well at a distance, but are unable to bring nearer objects into focus. This condition can be caused by hyperopia (farsightedness) or presbyopia (loss of focusing ability). Others can see items that are close, but cannot see those far away. This condition may be caused by myopia (nearsightedness).
A comprehensive eye examination by a doctor of optometry can diagnose those causes, if any, that are affecting your ability to see well. In most cases, your optometrist can prescribe glasses, contact lenses or a vision therapy program that will help improve your vision. If the reduced vision is due to an eye disease, the use of ocular medication or other treatment may be used."

Ahhh Google is my friend!! It's crazy the things you can find on-line. Tomorrow I have the joy of seeing the eye doctor after what I believe to be about 17 years. HOW it can be that long I have no idea but I think the last time I had my eyes properly checked by a ophthalmologist was right before I turned 16. My Mom took me before I went to get my driver's license just to be sure I was all set. Just a little food for thought but both my parent's couldn't find their way out of a paper bag without their glasses. Seriously... Blind as a bat is putting it mildly. They also both got glasses very young around 2ish. My oldest brother Jim wears glasses and the older he gets the thicker the lenses get. Know what I mean?? Next is my brother Tim who miraculously has 20/20 vision at 35 years old. He has NEVER worn glasses or even complained about his eyes. Number 3 of course is me... I wore glasses 1 year in 6th grade because the lights in the room gave me horrible headaches. It really put a strain on my eyes and I temporarily failed the eye test. Weird I know. Sarah, child #4, well.. she is a funny little case. She got glasses as a kid but refused to wear them for fear of the "nerd" status being stapled to her back. SO she walked around clueless and seriously blind for years. How she played soccer or softball I honestly cannot imagine. I finally forced my mother to take her when we drove by a HUGE billboard sign and I asked her to read it to me and she couldn't. UHHH Houston we have a problem!!!!! Needless to say she was wearing contacts a week later. She too is umm Blind!! Sarah.. I love you.. but your blind as a bat! :)

When I brought Alex in for his appointment and I sat trying to read the letters as he was... uhh.. decided I better get mine checked too. Tomorrow at 1pm is the time set to see if I too will join the world of the 4 eyes. Pray that just because I have had 33 birthdays does not mean that my eyes have gotten old or that I am turning into my parents.

Wanted - My Review

2008-06-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today Rick and I had a "Date Day". Now this in itself is HUGE. We never get an hour alone never mind 7 hours!!! Alex went off to VBS with his friend Coleton at State Line Baptist Church.

Rick and I decided to pick an "adult" film and off we went. We decided on "Wanted" with Angelina Jolie. My Husband was a fan of hers from Gone in 60 seconds.

This movie started off like a scene out of the office. The main character "Wesley" starts off as a miserable cubicle dweller and by the end of the movie less than 120 minutes later he is a master assassin. Do NOT go in to this movie expecting to be "fed" intellectually. In fact don't even expect this movie to be believable. This movie runs along the same lines as The Matrix as Wesley is trained to "bend bullets". Blood, blood, and more blood is key. The violence and depth of gore is never ending. I found myself cringing as I watched bullets rip through skulls and knives shred guts to pieces. Wanted was quick paced with a thin story line.

Angelina was a disappointment. She was far to thin to be sexy or believable. She needed some muscles and curves to go along with her kick ass attitude. sigh....

I suggest waiting till this comes out on DVD and rent it then...

I give this movie a C+

Wall*E - My Review

2008-06-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

My review is just that MY REVIEW! It's my personal opinion of the movie as I see it... Take it with a grain of salt or with something more. Totally up to you!!

Last night Wall*E opened in theaters. I went to see it with 2 - 3 yr olds, 1 - 4 year old, 3 - 5 year olds, plus 4 adults! We had a great crew and we very excited about this new Disney / Pixar movie.

The graphics in this movie were exceptional. Hands down Pixar just keeps getting better. However, I found the plot to be thin and over the head of most of the kids in the theater. There are very little words as 2 robots communicate through beeps. The humans are fat, lazy, and brainless. The entire human race lives on a space ship while our lives are run by computers. I felt there was a bit too much political stance in the movie. Where some may think our world is headed. Could i leave to some productive conversations between kids and adults? It's possible. Basically this movie was okay but not the 4 star other reviewers were raving about. I was not blown away. Nemo, Toy Story, and Ratatouille far accede this film! I give it a B-

NOW.. My 5 1/2 yr old would like to give a review:

"Go see this movie! I loved it. I thought the robots were cute and funny."

Go figure a mother and son don't see eye to eye....

Alaska and the great beyond...

2008-06-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

My Sister Sarah is in the Coast Guard. Since 2000 she has been stationed in Cape Cod, MA at 2 separate bases. During the last 8 years she has bought a house, had a son, and has gotten pretty "settled". Sarah is 5 years younger than me and honestly still a "kid" in eyes. Mind you she is 28 but that is just a minor detail. Well... she got orders to Alaska. Yeah... As you can imagine she was pretty shocked. Juneau, Alaska was the VERY BOTTOM of her "wish list".

Well it gets crazier... Her husband and she decided to NOT sell their house. In Fact my brother in law and my nephew are staying in Cape Cod. wow.. that's what I said. Her tour is suppose to be for 3 years UNLESS she makes Chief. Now be prepared because there are a lot of "maybes" in here..

The Chief list came out today.. she is #10. That's GREAT.. they usually take about 25-30 for rank advancement. BUT she doesn't find out until after Christmas. IF she makes Chief she will get a new Wish List for her NEW rank... Which means by this time next year she "could" be right back in Cape Cod. As there will be a Chief position open there. Are you following?? Totally confusing right?

I agree!!! So last Saturday, my sister, nephew, and brother in law drove off the Cape and started the trek West. They made it to Seattle, WA by Wednesday evening. Amazing time if you ask me! This morning my sister had the gut wrenching task of hugging her husband and son goodbye as they boarded the plane "home". She will not see them again until the end of October, 5 months from now. As a Mom that is forever! She does have a laptop w/ a web cam. BUT physically not being able to hug your child is something I cannot even wrap my brain around. God Bless her cause I could not do it. (and here I am stressing over leaving my family for 3 weeks in Africa, shame on me)!!!

My sister is not a Christian. I say this because I "personally" think it's important and gives some understanding on things. There is no "church" family to support her or her son / husband.

Please keep my sister in your prayers. This could be an awesome adventure for her. I pray she takes the time to truly find her heart. To do things she might never do again, to explore, to dream, and find excitement.

I also hope that this time away might actually be good for us. Maybe we can reconnect.. via e-mail. Maybe she will start a blog about her adventure, her struggles, and her joys.

I'll keep you posted on her adventure....

Ecclesiastes 4:10

2008-06-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

**** THANK YOU, to all my my close friends who watch my back. You hold me accountable for my faith. I NEED you in my life to laugh with, to cry with, and to walk through this journey together with. You know who you are... and you know I love you! ****

We Need Each Other: To Watch Out For Us
by Rick Warren

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:4 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

Each one of us needs other people to watch out for us – to defend us, protect us, and help us stay on track. In the book of Philippians, the apostle Paul tells us that we should look out for each other’s interests, not just our own. What a counterculture verse! In America today, it’s all about me – my needs, my interests, my wants, and my ambitions. But Paul teaches us to look out for others too.

Since September 11, 2001, Americans have been much more vigilant for each other as we are on the lookout for more terrorist attacks. But did you know you have an enemy far more destructive than terrorists? You have a personal enemy who wants to defeat you. His name is Satan. He wants to bring problems into your life, to ruin your relationships, and to hurt you as badly as he can.

Why does he want to hurt you? Because he wants to hurt God, but he can’t – so he goes after God’s children. On your own, you will never win against Satan. But when you have other people to watch out for you and help you, you can be victorious.

Here’s good advice from Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” (NIV).

Does anyone have your back? Is anyone defending you – watching out for your spiritual welfare? You need a community of people who are saying to you: “We’ll be with you when you’re going through the tough times. We’re not going to let you get discouraged or depressed.”

Community is God’s answer to defeat. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him” (NIV).

Remember: You can try, but you can’t live life well on your own. We all need other people – to walk with us, to work with us, and to watch out for us.

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers.

Luke 10: 41

2008-06-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed." ~ Luke 10:41

A friend (let's call him Andrew) who has been praying for me regarding numerous things but especially Africa told me a story today. He was in the book store looking for a special bible for my husband. (That's another story), but during the process he was thumbing through one and opened directly up to Luke 10:41. Interesting since he was thinking of both Rick and I. Even more with everything he knows that is going on in my head regarding Africa.

Andrew is not one who runs around pointing out random things and says it's from God, BUT, when something really hits him and truly feels like it's God speaking he listens and shares if necessary.

When Andrew told me I laughed... but he said He truly believed that with all my stress over if I should go to Africa I may actually be missing something. Did he happen to know what that something IS? No.. of course not. :) But man I loved him for sharing....

I am working hard to not allow Africa to become a focus but rather allow God to show me the way. However, what I am finding is it's like trying to get pregnant. Once you actually decide and start trying you suddenly notice every maternity store, every pregnant women on the street, and every infant in a 500 mile radius.

No, I am not finding every missionary in Columbus and grilling them but I do find myself turning my head to every magazine, book, tv show, movie, or newspaper article about Africa. The more I read the more my heart breaks, the more I feel led.

Today in the car Alex asked me "Mama, how many more days till you go to Africa? (pause and before I could answer) The babies are waiting for you"

*** Side notes from Andrew who I spoke about above***
"I have some additional commentary on Africa. I think what I was trying to to say about your focus is that maybe YOU were still trying to figure out the particulars of going or not going rather than BEING STILL and waiting for God to make it clear in His time. Somehow that came out that you were missing something. I didn't mean that in a tangible sense, more that perhaps you should focus on His will and let Him work out the particulars."

What color blue is your pool?

2008-06-25T18:28:00.000-07:00

Today we once again headed to the base pool. It was brutally hot and humid out so we were ready. The pool there is a saline pool which is the coolest thing ever. No chlorine smell and no stinging of eyes. Kind of like swimming in the ocean minus the NASTY seaweed and jellyfish.

The base pool has 2 slides and a 5 foot diving board. Alex is a FISH with no fear. He passed the swimming test with no problem. This consisted of swimming 50 yards without stopping. Alex was doing crazy jumps off the diving board, swimming in the deep end, and going down the "big boy slide".

Enjoy the pictures! Not sure if you can tell but in one he is grinning at me as he comes off the slide. Cracked me up when I went back and looked at it. There were actually several like it. He is such a ham and just silly!

2008-06-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

A friend sent this to me and of course it made me think. Maybe this is a sign I shouldn't go to Africa? Maybe my job is to stay here and continue to put everything I have into Alex. Will he some day be angry at me being gone for 3 weeks the summer he was 6? Will he forever hold it against me and need therapy for weeks. Ugh...... Will I continue on like this back and forth and so on for the next year??

Who Gets Your Time?

...but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.
—1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

(Written by Jim Burns) One year I was speaking at the family conference of one of the most well-known youth organizations in the world. Many of the attendees and their families do work similar to what I do. On Friday night of this weekend event, I spoke to the adults and their children. Afterward, on the way back to my room, I passed two teenage girls smoking cigarettes. They looked a bit hardened and not much involved in the conference. For some reason I got to talking with them, and it surprised me to hear that their parents held high positions in the organization. I love the challenge of communicating with these kinds of kids, so we had a great time of open discussion.

The next day, I was returning to my room again and there they were–the same two girls, smoking. I stopped and we started having another good conversation. Finally, feeling I was gaining some trust, I said, "I'm in a very similar job situation as your dads, and I have three daughters. What advice would you give me for being a good dad and helping my daughters live meaningful lives?" Julie, the older of the two girls, took a long drag from her cigarette, then slowly put it on the ground and stamped it out as smoke was coming from her nose.

She looked up at me and replied, "I hope you spend more time with your kids than my dad did with me. He saved lots of kids, but he didn't save me." My eyes immediately filled up with tears. I went back to my room, got on my knees, and asked God to help me be the kind of father to my girls that would not put my vocation ahead of my relationship with them. I'm sure there is another side to Julie's story, but the fact remains that building a strong and healthy family cannot be done long-distance.¹

There's no doubt in my mind whatsoever that kids regard your very presence as a sign of caring and connectedness. This "power of being there" makes a difference in a child's life. It sounds so simple, but never underestimate the positive message you are giving your kids by watching those games, driving them all around the county or being with them in one of the hundreds of other ways you are present in their lives. You don't have to be present with your kids 24/7, but your presence gives them a greater sense of security than almost anything else you can offer them.

GOING DEEPER:
1. Spend some time evaluating whether you give your children adequate amounts of your time or just the scraps and leftovers of your schedule.

2. Identify a time in the next week when you will intentionally "be there" for your kids.

FURTHER READING:
1 Timothy 5:8: "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Glasses are not for Nerds!

2008-06-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

Tell me that's not the cutest thing you have ever seen!! Alex got his glasses today. He struggled to pass his 20/20 vision. He did but just barely. He really squinted and his left eye watered like crazy. He also had astigmatism. So we decided to go with glasses to give his eyes a little help and allow them a chance to mature and get stronger. We will see in a year how is doing. I think this is a good thing with him starting Kindergarten in August.
I am going to get my eyes checked next Monday. I have not had them checked since I turned 16. Basically 15 years. OUCH!! Plus with my headaches and the amount of time I spend on here who knows what I will do. Everyone in my family wears glasses except my brother Tim. I wore them for 1 year in 6th grade due to poor lighting in the classroom I was in.

My Review...

2008-06-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Alex, Lynn, Connor and I drove to Starkville to see Narnia Prince Caspian. I was a little disappointed as a Mom. The first Narnia (The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe) was truly focused on the children who would be watching it. They took the time to explain and give the characters depth and personality.

Also what happened to the depth of spiritual theology in this film? Did the producers forget who wrote the book and the Christian rock he stood on? There was a thin "have faith" line repeated several times. But, it was so thin it's almost not noticeable. On a moral compass there were acts of betrayal, deceit, attempted murder and plenty of politics and back-stabbing. But the kings and queens of old, as well as Caspian, fight for what is good and true. Caspian is tempted by revenge, and Peter's pride leads to disaster, but everyone sees the error of their ways in the end. For the most part, the girls are portrayed as courageously as the boys.

There was constant violence or "awesome sword fights" if you ask Alex. BUT barely a story line... There was no true "gore" but rather understood gore. Characters are pierced by arrows and swords and fall to the ground (many are injured, and some do die), little gore is shown besides the odd cut on the lip or cheek.

I give it a C. This movie just barely hung on to Alex's attention and dragged on grasping at straws to truly be called a Narnia movie. sigh....

Africa? Africa? AFRICA???

2008-06-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

Every now and again (okay more now than then but whatever it's my blog), God has these crazy conversations with me. I mean seriously crazy and I start checking not only my sanity but His too. It started several months ago maybe around December. My Best Friend Lori was turning 40 and her husband Trent was paying her way to go on a Mission Trip to Africa with our church. I tossed around the idea of going but God quickly put me in my place that I was only thinking about it because she was going. Well.. DUH.. 3 weeks kid free with my best friend on a crazy adventure... OF COURSE that's what I was thinking. Well, God as you can imagine was NOT pleased with my thought process and rightly told me so. Sigh.. no Africa trip for me in 2008.

Well, then my son (being the future Baptist Preacher that he is) begins the nightly ritual of praying for the people in Africa but especially the children. I mean he REALLY prays for them. He wants them all to have shoes, more than just rice to eat, a warm bed and most importantly someone to hug every day. Alex began to save part of his "commission" (aka: allowance) for the children in Africa. Every time he outgrows something he tells me to bag it up for the kids in Africa.

I started wondering if God was trying to tell me something through Alex. So I really started listening and praying hard with Alex. I asked God if he had a message for me to make it clear.

Now stay with me here.... this all makes sense in my head but typed out.. well who knows!

For the past 6 months not a day has gone by that something hasn't prompted my attention and prayers for Africa. A website link, a newspaper ad, a TV show, my son in his 100 questions. The interesting part is that it is always kid related.. always.

About a month ago I was in my room folding laundry and Alex comes in, climbs up on my bed for a "chat". I can always tell when it's gonna be serious because he gets comfy and looks very serious. Here is how the conversation went:

Alex: Mama, God told me that I was going to get a "chocolate brother"

Me: umm really? a chocolate one huh?

Alex: yes from Africa

Me: Ok

Alex: no I am serious and you have to go get him!

Me: Alex, Africa is very far away and very expensive to get there. You can't just go and pick a baby put him in a suitcase and fly home with a baby.

At this point I have gone from aww he's so cute to ohh man he's going to get his heart broken.

Alex: Mama, I'm not worried God will take care of it all. You just listen okay?

Me: Umm Okay Alex but be patient okay? And know it's God's will no matter what. I Love you and you are my forever boy.

Alex: climbs down and leaves the room saying YEAH I'm getting a chocolate brother!!

(Slapping forehead)... OHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say I have told others this story with the "awe Alex said the cutest thing"... But now I wonder if it isn't something more?

I have been feeling more and more drawn to go to Africa on our teams next trip in July 09'. Every time I begin to argue with why I CANNOT GO.. God responds.... ugh.... WHY does HE always respond?? lol

Let me just lay it out here as t why I cannot go to Africa......

1. $$$$$$$ JUST to go it's $5,000 not to mention spending money etc and all the things I don't know about, hidden fees etc.

2. It's a 3 week trip.. I CANNOT leave my son and husband for that long!

3. Who in the world would take care of Alex while I am gone and Rick's at work?

4. Who would do my job (at work) for 3 weeks?

5. I would need a mess of shots $$$$$

6. I need a Visa $$$$

7. I would need Luggage?? $$$

8. I would need different clothes $$$$$

9. What if I am not spiritually ready?

10. How am I a "baby" Christian suppose to minister to others when I can barely minister to myself??

11. What if it crushes my spirit?

12. What if I actually get touched instead of me touching them?

13. What if I cannot function because of the food?

14. What if I get sick?

Okay.. I think you get the picture of my own personal battle. So, what I need from all of you is prayer. Please pray for guidance and for me to just be still and rely on God and not myself.

Is God serious??? He wants ME to go to Africa to love on the baby's???????????

Alex Rocks!

2008-06-21T05:24:00.001-07:00

Well it's far too early since I was awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night. But That being said I thought I would re-introduce my pride and joy.. ALEX!!

So here is a recent picture of The Man, The Myth, The Legend! LOL.. This is from our 2008 T-ball season. He played for the Giants and Rick and I were assistant coaches. He had a good season with a lot less crying which was really nice. We really worked on his swing and about half way through I got him leaning back and stepping and then BAM... he started parking it. He has been hitting some gorgeous line drives into center field since then. He is still pretty weak in the catching area but I think it's because he literally can't see the ball till it smacks him in the head. lol That being said he was the youngest member of the team yet one of the better players. He was consistent. He has a great throw but gets anxious and misses his target (normal for this age) and awesome hitting. We really just needs to work on his fielding and catching but I truly believe we are on the brink with that too.

For some reason this year he has taken to wanting to pitch. He has a mean pitching wind-up too. I am not sure where that comes from since he is still in t-ball. However, I started pitching in softball at 7 and pitched for the next 10 years. Red Sox fans delight though because he is LEFT HANDED!!!! Could he be a dream come true and be a left handed pitcher??? OH BABY..... Be sure to keep his name tucked into your memory because one day you just might see him pitching for my beloved Red Sox in the world series.

Hey a Mama can dream!!!!

Heartburn.........

2008-06-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

Heartburn is like the devil...

I fight it everyday yet continue to eat foods that I know I shouldn't. Honestly though just about everything irritates it. This "morning" 1:31am to be exact I sit in my recliner regurgitating the black raspberry ice cream that I ate at 8pm. UGH....

Unlike most people my heartburn takes on the lovely special effect of causing my lungs to burn thus setting off my asthma. This morning I awoke to not only 2 dogs on my head one of which was licking my face off but also an asthma attack. grrreeeeaaatttttt.......... (said with much sarcasm).

I have suffered with asthma for 33 yrs now.. and only in the last 3 did they finally figure out that my asthma was partially being caused by heartburn. WHOA... Taking an pill every day for my stomach has basically put a stop to the wheezing. BUT when the stomach flairs up you can guarantee so does the asthma. sigh.....

So here I sit in my recliner at now 1:36am waiting for the drugs to kick in so I can quit burping up black raspberry ice cream with chocolate jimmies. (OR for you southern people sprinkles).

Well lookie there... you look up the definition of heartburn and look what you get the mention of asthma!!!

"Heartburn or pyrosis is a painful or burning sensation in the esophagus, just below the breastbone usually associated with regurgitation of gastric acid.^[1] The pain often rises in the chest and may radiate to the neck, throat, or angle of the jaw. Heartburn is also identified as one of the causes of chronic cough, and may even mimic asthma. Despite its name, heartburn actually has nothing to do with the heart. It is so called because of a burning sensation of the breastbone where the heart is located although some heart problems do have a similar sensation to heartburn. Compounding the confusion is the fact that hydrochloric acid from the stomach comes back up the esophagus because of a problem with the cardiac sphincter, a valve which misleadingly contains the word "cardiac" (an adjective referring to the heart) in its name."

Notice no mention of the devil though... hmph! Go Figure.. I am sure it is a spawn of satan though. WELL THAT JUST isn't COOL!! Spell checker wants me to capitalize satan. WHAT!?!?! does satan deserve to be capitalized like we capitalize our names or Jesus?? I think not. I am just going to have to ignore those ugly red lines all over my page screaming spelling error. I would like to send mister spell checker a nasty little e-mail about his spelling of satan. ugh.. satan may be a "proper name" but excuse me it does NOT deserve to be capitalized. Not at least in my little corner of the blogging world.

In my quest of uncapitalizing (which apparently is not a word) satan I found this blog that agrees with me. Down with capitalizing satan!! Now, after just surfing this guys blog for a few minutes I am totally tickled and bookmarked him. BUT my highlight is that he totally agrees satan should not be capitalized. Maybe I can start a new trend and get others to not capitalize satan too??

Okay it's 2am and I am on a rant about capitalization... seriously! I haven't posted in almost a year and THIS is the best I can come up with???

Stress.....

2007-07-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked,

"How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.

It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued,

"And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,

as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,

we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.

When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home.

You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

So, my friend, why not take a while to just simply RELAX.

Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.

Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Life is short. Enjoy it!

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can't push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons...some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

God lives under the Bed!

2007-07-18T11:10:00.001-07:00

GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED
I envy Kevin. My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least
that's what I heard him say one night.

He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen,
"Are you there, God?" he said. "Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the
bed..."

I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique
perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something
else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the
very different world Kevin lives in.

He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties
during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in
which he is an adult.

He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and
he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his
bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree
every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels
carry them.

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever
dissatisfied with his monotonous life?

Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled,
home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite
macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.

The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers
excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.

He does not seem dissatisfied.

He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple
work.

He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before
dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry
for his next day's laundry chores.

And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad takes
Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and
speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. "That
one's goin' to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.

His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips.

He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.

His life is simple.

He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not
care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His
needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may
not be.

His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working.
When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is
completely in it.

He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a
job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how
to relax.

He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is
pure.

He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and
when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue.

Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to
cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always
sincere.
And he trusts God.

Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he
comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with
Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp. God
seems like his closest companion.

In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the
security Kevin has in his simple faith.

It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine
knowledge that rises above my mortal questions

It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap. I
am.
My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become
disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care

Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he
has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark
and soaking up the goodness and love of God.

And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all
amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God
heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his
bed.

Kevin won't be surprised at all!

Talkative Woman

2007-07-06T19:41:00.001-07:00

Study: Women Don't Talk More Than Men

Researchers Find That Both Sexes Speak About 16,000 Words a Day
New research is about to blow up stereotypes of the strong, silent man and the overly chatty woman who nags him. According to a study released today, men talk just as much as women — on average 16,000 words in a day. Using digital voice recorders over an eight-year period, researchers at the University of Arizona studied how many words hundreds of American and Mexican college students spoke over several days. The students carried the voice-activated recorders for almost all of their waking hours, on average about 17 hours a day.

The complete story can be found at http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=3348076&page=1&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

From the above story it is obvious they have not met my wife, just kidding. I guess we have all heard the old adage that women talk more than men and I suppose this stereotype comes from the long running sitcoms that starred extra talkative wives. On these shows the men seem as if they will do what ever it takes to get away from their jabber jaw wives. Well in actuality, we guys run our mouth just as much as you women it seems; why do I feel that there is a bunch of women somewhere saying, “I knew it.” All this talk about talk makes me think, “Is anyone listening?” By listening I mean listening to God and his will for our life; are we spending so much time expressing our selves that we are missing out on what God has to say. I think this may be the case; a lot of people are spending most of their time trying to be heard in stead of listening for the still small voice of God.

I Kings 19:11-13 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?
Elijah knew to listen for the still small voice of God; I think many times we a waiting around for the mighty wind, earthquake, and fire to speak so we miss the still small voice of God. We have to understand that everyone is not going to have a burning bush experience when it comes to God speaking to us. Many are setting around waiting for a burning bush to speak to them when the still small voice has already told them what to do. Callings are missed and delayed because men and women are waiting for the bush in the back yard to burst into flames and speak to them. We have to be tuned in to God if we want to hear his still small voice.

How do we tune into God? First of all we have to read his word the Bible consistently; one of the major ways that God can speak to his people is through His written word. Not only does he speak through his word but we know that anything he does tell us to do will not contradict the Bible. He will never ask us to do anything that stands in opposition to the Bible. In addition to reading the Bible, our prayer life has to be sound. We need to be in constant contact with God in order to be sure we do not miss any of his instruction for our lives. In the book of Psalms it says to Pray with out ceasing and we must truly do that if we want to hear and understand the still small voice. The final way to hear from God is to surround you with individuals who seek the will of God in their life. I am someone who still believes that God speaks through individuals who are willing to humble themselves before him. I can not count the times that someone in my life said that they where praying for me and that God gave them a scripture for me, and it has always been exactly what I needed to hear.

I guess it is important that we communicate with each other orally and I guess it really does not matter who talks the most; men or women. The important thing in this life is who is listening to what counts; the still small voice of God.

If you need a Bible, want to talk, have a question, or if you have a prayer request just let us know.

God Bless
No Limits

My Flashers

2007-07-06T05:24:00.001-07:00

My Blonde Mother sent me this joke and I cracked up!

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers... Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.

It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.

The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly. "

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...

"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.

8X8

2007-07-03T19:14:00.000-07:00

8 x 8... keep it goin'

When you reach the end of your rope you will find the hem of His garment. I'm not breaking this one.

This is ABSOLUTELY beautiful...

I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is. Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!

'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, my finances, and all of my friends,
in Jesus' name. Amen.'

RED MARBLES

2007-07-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

.Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes.
I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but
clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh
green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation
between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
"Hello Barry, how are you today?"

"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They
sure look good."

"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"

"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."

"Good. Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."

"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.

"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."

"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"

"All I got's my prize marble here."

"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.

"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."

"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort
of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store
owner asked.

"Not zackley but almost."

"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip
this way let me look at that red marble". Mr. Miller told the boy.

"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller." Mrs. Miller, who had been standing
nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two

other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances.

Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he
doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a

green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store."

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A
short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man,

the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just
recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho
community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.
They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends
wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the
mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased
and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army
uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white
shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing
composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged
her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the
casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young
man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale
hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his
eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and
reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me
about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes
glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you
about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded"
them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or
size....they came to pay their debt."

"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she
confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest
man in Idaho .."

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her
deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined

red marbles.

The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind
deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...An unexpected
phone call from an old friend...Green stoplights on your way to work...
The fastest line at the grocery store...A good sing-along song on
the radio...Your keys found right where you left them.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER
THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED

Do you know the Preamble for your state?

2007-07-02T06:49:00.000-07:00

Do you know the Preamble for your state? Important commentary at the

end.

Alabama 1901 , Preamble . We the people of the State of Alabama ,

invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish

the following Constitution.

Alaska 1956, Preamble . We, the people of Alaska , grateful to God

and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.

Arizona 1911, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Arizona ,

grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...

Arkansas 1874, Preamble We, the people of the State of Arkansas ,

grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of

government...

California 1879, Preamble . We, the People of the State of California

, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom.

Colorado 1876, Preamble . We, the people of Colorado , with profound

reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe.

Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging

with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.

Delaware 1897, Preamble . Through Divine Goodness all men have, by

nature , the rights of worshiping and serving their Creator according to

the dictates of their consciences.

Florida 1885, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Florida,

grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this

Constitution...

Georgia 1777, Preamble . We, the people of Georgia, relying upon

protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this

Constitution...

Hawaii 1 959, Preamble . We , the people of Hawaii, Grateful for

Divine Guidance .. Establish this Constitution.

Idaho 1889, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Idaho ,

grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings.

Illinois 1870, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Illinois,

grateful to Almighty God for the civil l, political and religious liberty

which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a

blessing on our endeavors.

Indiana 1851, Preamble . We, the People of the State of Indiana ,

grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our

form of government.

Iowa 1857, Preamble We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to

the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our

dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings establish this

Constitution.

Kansas 1859, Preamble . We, the people of Kansas, grateful to

Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this

Constitution.

Kentucky 1891, Preamble. We, the people of the Commonwealth are

grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious

liberties...

Louisiana 1921, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Louisiana,

grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties

we enjoy.

Maine 1820, Preamble. We the People of Maine acknowledging with

grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in

affording us an opportunity ... And imploring His aid and direction.

Maryland 1776, Preamble We, the people of the state of Maryland ,

grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty...

Massachusetts 1780, Preamble . We...the people of Massachusetts ,

acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator

of the Universe . In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and

devoutly imploring His direction ..

Michigan 1908, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Michigan ,

grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom establish this

Constitution.

Minnesota 1857, Preamble We, the people of the State of Minnesota ,

grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to

perpetuate its blessings:

Mississippi 1890, Preamble . We, the people of Mississippi in

convention assembled, grateful to Al mighty God, and invoking His blessing

on our work.

Missouri 1845, Preamble . We, the people of Missouri , with profound

reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His

goodness .. Establish this Constitution .

Montana 1889, Preamble.. We, the people of Montana , grateful to

Almighty God for the

blessings of liberty establish this Constitution ..

Nebraska 1875, Preamble . We, the people, grateful to Almighty God

for our freedom . Establish this Constitution.

Nevada 1864, Preamble . We the people of the State of Nevada ,

grateful to Almighty God for our freedom establish this Constitution

New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V . Every individual has a

natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of

his own conscience.

New Jersey 1844, Preamble . We, the people of the State of New

Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He

hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on

our endeavors.

New Mexico 1911, Preamble . We, the People of New Mexico, grateful

to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty

New York 1846, Preamble . We, the people of the State of New York,

grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its

blessings.

North Carolina 1868, Preamble We the people of the State of North

Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for

our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our

dependence upon Him for the continuance of those

North Dakota 1889, Preamble . We, the people of North Dakota,

grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty,

do ordain...

Ohio 1852, Preamble . We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to

Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our

common

Oklahoma 1907, Preamble . Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in

order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty ... establish this

Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I. Section 2. All men shall be

secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the

dictates of their consciences..

Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful

to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and

humbly invoking His guidance

Rhode Island 1842, Preamble. We the People of the State of Rhode

Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which

He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing

South Carolina, 1778, Preamble . We, the people of he State of South

Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this

Constitution.

South Dakota 1889, Preamble . We, the people of South Dakota,

grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties

Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III. That all men have a natural and

indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of

their conscience...

Texas 1845, Preamble . We the People of the Republic of Texas,

acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.

Utah 1896, Preamble . Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty,

we establish this Constitution.

Vermont 1777, Preamble . Whereas all government ought to enable the

individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other

blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man

Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe

our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty

of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each

other

Washington 1889, Preamble . We the People of the State of Washington,

grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain

this Constitution

West Virginia 1872, Preamble . Since through Divine Providence we

enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the

people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon

God ..

Wisconsin 1848, Preamble We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to

Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility

Wyoming, 1890, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Wyoming,

grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties ..

establish this Constitution.

After reviewing acknowledgments of God from all 50 state

constitutions, one is faced with the prospect that maybe, the ACLU and the

out-of-control federal courts are wrong! If you found this to be "Food for

thought" copy and send to as many as you think will be enlightened as I

hope you were .

"One Nation Under God "

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus

Christ

and the American G.I.

~One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.~

Please pray for my Friend Emily

2007-07-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

My friend just lost her 5 day old Daughter Miller Grace. Please pray for this family. At only 24 yrs. old Emily is the most astounding woman / Christian I have ever met. She has endure far more than any Mother should have to and I wanted to share just a glimpse of her heart with you.

You can see her journal entry's at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/millergracecassetty

SUNDAY, JULY 01, 2007 08:29 PM, CDT

Part 1 of 3

Tribute to Miller Grace

Some mothers spend years buying prom dresses, going to ballet lessons, and teaching their daughters to read. I hope to get the chance to do just that with my first two daughters, but I will never have that chance with Miller Grace. I selfishly rejoice in knowing that I had thirty five weeks with her that no one else got to have. The rest of you only knew my sweet girl for five days and those were amazing days. What boggled the minds of doctors made perfect sense to me.

The Lord was gracious enough to let Miller Grace stay with us in this world for five days, eight hours, and forty eight minutes. In that brief window of time, I learned more than I have in all my twenty four years combined. I learned what it is to rejoice during a painful birth, what it is to pray when that baby doesn't ever cry, what it means to truly lay one's child at the foot of the cross and to force oneself to find peace in whatever God decides for that child.

My first pregnancy was a normal one and I laughed when my mother told me that a healthy baby was a miracle when she was visiting us in the hospital. Then, just seventeen weeks into my second pregnancy, we saw our baby's intestines floating outside of her body. For twenty weeks, were never guaranteed another moment and the threat of death lingered over our heads. It was only when Matilyn Faith came screaming into this world, despite having most of her intestines and organs outside of her body, that we knew God was truly big enough to defy all odds. For twenty six days, we witnessed one miracle after another in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, and when we carried our girl who had beat all the odds home in her Easter dress on the day before Easter, we knew that God really does still move stones and resurrect lives. I've had the opportunity to share Matilyn's miraculous story with so many people since then and no one can hear the full story and deny the power of God in her life or the fact that without him, she would never be here. I've rejoiced that I am the only one that can tell that story to this world from my perspective. What I didn't know is that I was the one who would need the reminder of Matilyn that God really is big enough to fix anything He wants to, to sustain any life He sees fit, and to work miracles among us.

(continued...)
You see, Miller Grace and God had been gently preparing my heart for this day for many weeks. Even before she took her first breath, Miller Grace's body seized violently and she rarely found peace within me. At first, this scared me immensely and I begged for deliverance from it. Then, Matt helped me to realize that those movements were Miller Grace's unique movements and I should be thankful for each one. I learned to embrace Miller Grace for who she was and I learned how to hold my belly just the right way to bring her peace until the seizing stopped. I once was afraid of needles and yet, Miller Grace and God gave me the peace and strength to face not one, but four decompression amniocentesis procedures, where a needle much larger than I care to describe was inserted into my abdomen and invaded that sacred space where Miller Grace first came to be. Enduring this nightmare four times and spending weeks with my entire abdomen extended far beyond capacity made it difficult to breathe and often times nearly miserable to endure, but, again, Miller Grace and God gave me the strength to do whatever it took to buy time for Miller Grace in this world... and it worked for a little while.

SUNDAY, JULY 01, 2007 08:28 PM, CDT

Part 2 of 3

Now, I stand on the other side. I have watched in horror as my child never took her first breath, much less cried. I've stood at a hospital bassinet and realized my baby girl would not fight as I prayed she would. I witnessed a soul much more gentle than my own, much more willing to accept God's will for her, and I understood for the first time why we had chosen Grace to be her middle name. We thought it was appropriate because God was going to be gracious and send us a healthy baby this time, but what Miller Grace and God knew was that she WAS Grace. She was going to show us what grace is all about. She never left the hand of her mighty Creator and though she let us cherish her for a little while, she was never intended to linger here for long, and she was so peaceful in that.

It was my longing for her peace after so many months of uncontrollable movements and painful procedures that allowed me the strength to walk the long hallway to the room where I would wait for my husband to bring our girl to me, free from all wires and trying to breathe on her own. It was the peace of God that filled me as I unbuttoned my shirt and placed Miller Grace's little chest against her mother's for the first time and it was the peace of God and the joy that comes from Heaven that filled us as we released our girl to go to Heaven. She laid her little head under my chin and fell asleep. In the time it took to sing Jesus Loves Me two times, she found peace enough to stop breathing, though her heart continued to beat. In the time it took for me to tell her all about everyone who is waiting for her in Heaven and to give her specific instructions on who to play with and what to do until Mommy gets there, she stopped trying to make her heartbeat, too. She showed us true submission to God's will and she was graceful until her last breath. I danced with her little body at the same time that I know she started dancing with Jesus and I praised God for being the one who experienced this blessing.

I might not get to buy Miller Grace a prom dress or to ever teach her to read, but there is one thing I get to do. In the job description of Miller Grace's mom is the requirement to stand before you and tell you of all these ways that God has worked, to tell you that He took my worst nightmare and made into a dream come true, and to ask you if you've trusted Him enough to know the miracles I do.

SUNDAY, JULY 01, 2007 08:22 PM, CDT

(Conclusion)

I understood for the first time how our Lord must have felt when it was His ONLY Son that hung on the cross. I have heard people question why it was His Son and not Himself that was sacrificed for our sins. I know now. This would have been nearly as bad if it were my life that was lost. To watch my tiny, innocent child struggle to live and then to die, I did partake in the sufferings of our Lord. I continue to daily. Let me tell you, please believe ME, it could only be an immense love for you that would have led our Lord to willingly endure such heartache. This is no small thing. This is earth shattering and wrong in every way. Just as God the Father lost His Son in order that others might know Christ and have eternal life, I feel I have lost Miller Grace for the same purpose. So many of you do not know God… or you do and you've lost touch with him. I think I know how God feels about you, too. I ache for Miller Grace until there are just no words. Just to touch her, just to have her look at me, just to bury my face in her chubby little neck one more time… I would give anything. That's how God feels about you. That's why He pursues your heart as He does. He misses you. You are His child and He already paid the price to bring you back home. There is no price I can pay, except the years of life that stand between me and meeting my girl again in Heaven, to get her back. But the price has been paid for you. Please, don't keep Him waiting another minute. This pain is too much. As His child, you have no idea. As the parent, I'm telling you it's true.

Miller Grace was smaller than anyone here, but her strength was bigger. If you've been too stubborn or too proud or just too scared to give your life to God, think of tiny Miller Grace. Isaiah 11:6 says "The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together, and a little child will lead them." If you thought it was impossible to have a relationship with God, faith that will move mountains, or the ability to be obedient even unto death, consider the impossibilities in this verse and then the truth that a little child will indeed lead us to make those things possible. Miller Grace set quite the example for us. She faced the impossible. Miller Grace never sinned as we have sinned. Miller Grace never had the chances we have known. Yet she was faithful even unto death. She never knew fear and she knew that no pain was too great to keep her from fulfilling her purpose here. The same can be true for you. Let her lead you home and find rest in the arms of your Savior just as she has.

2 Great Stories!

2007-05-27T05:48:00.000-07:00

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago . Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from boot-legged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was Capone's lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object.

And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.

Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.

He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great.

So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street

But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.

The poem read:

“The clock of life is wound but once,

And no man has the power to tell

Just when the hands will stop

At late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own.

Live, love, toil with a will.

Place no faith in time.

For the clock may soon be still.

STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare.

He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.

He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now-broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.

Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.

Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.

He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.

A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.

So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

(Pretty cool, huh?)

Knee Update!

2007-05-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor said my knee looked "better" he felt the blood clot was much smaller and more pliable. He said my body is working to resolve it... thus no surgery! WHOOPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He said I am off bed rest... and can start walking around house with no brace. He wants me out of the brace 100% in the next 2 weeks. I start PT on Wed. He did warn me once I start PT that the swelling and pain would increase for about 1-2 weeks. After that he thought I would have a major break through. YIPPEE....

He said he felt getting me moving would help the swelling and fluid to get moving as well.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! I actually drove home with no brace and stood during Alex's T-ball game.

Thank you for all your patience with me... I am obviously not 100% but just knowing I am going forward has my spirits up.

Meaning of Life!

2007-05-22T20:31:00.001-07:00

What is the meaning of life
by my WW friend Rukasu!

Good question. In fact, this is the question. I believe that life is meant to be enjoyed, it is a wonderful gift and many people waste it by getting swept away in materialism. I know I do all the time, and it is something that I struggle with. To clarify, this world and the things in it are not evil in and of themselves, but they are not the way they are supposed to be either. Sin is a very real reality, and it taints every aspect of our life and the world around us. I am blessed to live where I do, for many other places around the world are much worse off: both in possessions and in freedoms.

But back on track: We are meant to enjoy life. Life, many times, is frustrating, disappointing and terribly sad. Man oppresses man, beast kills beast, time never stops ticking and each step we take is one step closer to the end of something. On the other hand, many of us live at a standard of living that would have been incomprehensible just a few hundred years ago. We can have it all, yet we still become depressed or bored and then merely push our troubles aside and look forward to the next big thing that will make us happy. And when that thing no longer excites, well then we can always look forward to something else. That is our curse: we live too much in the future and not in the now. We are too busy arranging for our future enjoyment that we fail to enjoy our current state. And when we do enjoy our current state, it eventually leaves us empty. That's it? That's all there is? We distract ourselves from the uncomfortable reality that we do not have all the answers, that we do not know what happens when we do take that final step and that our current obsession is really very small and insignificant in the large scheme of things.

So where does this leave us? It leaves many of us with a dull, meaningless existence that we escape from whenever possible via movies, books, T.V., video games or vacation. Escaping makes us happy for a while, for it allows us to forget our problems and to forget ourselves, and to be swept into a new world without our problems. Still, entertainment is more than escapism: good stories resonate with us on a very deep level, they speak to us about our life. They force us to reflect, to put things into perspective and give us tools by which we can judge our current situation. Usually this happens after the fact, as a good story holds our interest and forces us to turn the page or continue watching. It is the connection that we feel to the characters or setting or themes which keeps us involved and drives us to reflect--reflect on the nature of reality, the struggle between good and evil and sometimes situations that real people had to face.

Stories are an important part of life, and almost all stories revolve around a protagonist or hero. Traditionally, the hero is an embodiment of the ideals of a culture, and exhibits the qualities that people hold in esteem. The hero quests after immortality, and because it is impossible for humans to obtain this physically many times the hero must win it through kleos or fame, so that his name will live on and be remembered. Even though life is hard, the dream of never-ending life is attractive. Other than Norse fatalism or Neitzschian existentialism, it is hard not to hope for something more, something better. Why? Because we have tasted it. Life is not only hard, it can also be glorious, thrilling, full of pleasure and sport. This is the dichotomy of our present existence. We live through the highs and lows, the ups and downs. Even though we may sink to the bottom of the sea, the dream of the mountain keeps us kicking upward. And if it has always been this way, should not it always be? Death is an incredibly hard concept to understand, for it seems like the negation of all that we know. The opposite of what we are. It is unknown. Therefore, immortality is comforting, it gives us peace of mind.

Many people believe that religion is the opiate of the masses. That people believe in God because it is the easy thing to do; he becomes their security blanket. This is true, but it does not change the fact that we will never be able to fill the emptiness in our lives with the things of this world--all the cars, money, relationships and vacations we want will not satisfy. We remain the same: the same wannabe hero searching for immortality and happiness. We will never find it unless we look to something greater than ourselves, something that can wash away all of the emotional crap that denies us joy. We feel guilty, we feel small, we feel like we are failures and sometimes we hate the things we do. But we can't change. We are stuck in the futility of life, and will continue to spin around in circles looking for anything that can give us direction and peace. I believe that only God can give us this direction and peace, he is the one who created us and he is the one who makes our lives worth living. We were meant to enjoy living: living in his presence and in his world that he gave us. We screwed it up, and ever since a separation has existed between us. We can't fix this broken relationship, he has to. And he has, in a very real and historical event. Not only does this allow us to find peace and contentment in every aspect of our lives, and therefore enjoy them so much more, but this also gives us victory over death. Where now, o Death, is thy sting? Life was supposed to last forever, it was supposed to be good, it was supposed to be enjoyed. We cannot fully experience these things in this current fallen state, but the promise of a new heaven and new earth gives me assurance that it will be once more.

That is much longer than I intended, and I am afraid there are many rabbit trails that I did not need to follow, but I hope that this answered your question more than danced around it.

"What we do in life echoes in eternity."
-Maximus Decimus Meriduis, Gladiator

Surgery again?

2007-05-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long but things have gotten a little crazy here. Here is the latest of what is currently happening with my leg. Unfortunately healing hasn't gone exactly easy or as planned.

May 8th - Went in for surgery. It lasted 1.5hrs. (compared to slated 30 min.) Had to scrap out a lot of arthritis, old blood / fluid, fix MCL, PCL (in 3 places), ACL, and Meniscus. He said there was a lot more damage than the MRI showed BUT.. the ACL was in better condition than he expected. I was sent home and could start weight bearing when I was ready.

May 10th - That evening I was able to unwrap knee and shower. I was shocked at the swelling and bruising.

May 11th - Called doctor in regards to swelling / bruising. Told me to ice like crazy.. and call back if not better.

May 13th - I fell asleep while icing knee in my recliner and had a muscle spasm in my quad, my leg literally jumped waking me up and causing my knee to shift to outside again.

May 14th - Called doctor to explain what happened, major pain increase and swelling. Doctor said keep brace on (no shower - nothing) until he could see me, and ice and sit with leg up as much as possible.

May 16th - Saw doctor he agreed knee was FAR more swollen than it should be, but felt no damaged had occurred from muscle spasm. Took out stitches. Tried to drain knee in several places could not get anything and said I had a large blood clot in the outer left part of the knee. Blood clot was 1/2 under knee cap and wrapping to back of knee. We discussed options.... Put me on aspirin to thin blood, rest, walking with brace only as needed, ice.. ice.. ice... He gave me 10 days for my body to resolve the clot. He felt I was young enough that my body should be able to break it down on it's own. If it does not he will have to take me back into surgery for a much larger procedure. This would include an over night stay, and a 4" incision. I see him this Friday morning. Right now the swelling has not gone down. One of my incisions is contuining to drain old blood daily as well. Praying more surgery is not in my future.

Here is a link to some pictures also!!
http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=157579389/a=15470245_15470245/t_=15470245

Always a Mommy...

2007-05-22T07:36:00.001-07:00

All My Babies Are Gone Now
By Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow, but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach, T. Berry Brazelton, Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education -- all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning
relations -- what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development,
in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the "Remember-When-Mom-Did" Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language -- mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the cla$$room with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, "What did you get wrong?" (She insisted I include that here.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the
window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the gra$$ on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Support Mark!

2007-04-12T11:29:00.001-07:00

Starting May 6, 2007, Mark Schultz will be riding his bicycle over 3,500 miles across the United States, in support of Family Christian Stores' The James Fund. The James Fund is a non-profit organization that exists to raise awareness and meet the needs of orphans and widows. Mark will be cycling from California to New Hampshire, stopping along the way to perform concerts at local churches.

Check out www.markacrossamerica.org for more details regarding this tour, and see how you can get involved!

Be sure to view Mark's eCard & Video About
the Bike Tour Across America.

CLICK HERE

www.markacrossamerica.org

www.MarkSchultzMusic.com

Ashleigh in my prayers!

2007-03-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

What an incredible Easter gift for Any child you know! This is my friend's neice who I have been praying for since the day we learned of her illness. She is with Jesus now and I continue to pray for her. Please go to the website and order this amazing book!

WELCOME!

Ashleigh Marie Kieliszewski is the 4 year old who inspired the founding of Ashleigh Marie Books, LLC. One month before her third birthday, Ashleigh was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, an aggressive childhood cancer. During her 21 month courageous battle, Ashleigh inspired countless people and taught us the importance of loving and living.

We are pleased to offer the first book in a series, ASHLEIGH’S FAIRIES. This book demonstrates a child’s special openness to love that can come from things adults cannot readily explain. During the months prior to her passing in March 2006, Ashleigh spoke often about her fairy friends, inspiring this warm and touching story.

Ashleigh showed us that the most true and pure gift is love. And it’s story.

http://www.ashleighmariebooks.com/

"A portion of the proceeds from the sale of each book will be donated to the Children’s Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation."

It ain't easy being Green!

2007-03-26T12:10:00.001-07:00

Happy Springtime! Yay! I'm sure you all have some old perscription glasses that you'll never wear again, but feel guilty throwing them away...And what about old cell phones that are hanging around, since you've updated ?! Well, good news...there are charity organizations around the country that collect these items and recycle them!

There are lots of websites, if you search these topics on google, but a few good ones I'm going to contribute my donations to are:

www.wirelessrecycling.com

You can type in your zip code and find all of the nearest donation drop-off centers.

www.neweyesfortheneedy.org

I saw an ad in RealSimple Magazine this month for this organization. They also accept donations of hearing aids, sunglasses, jewelry, watches, & silverware. The shipping instructions are on their website.

And if you'd rather just give these items to me, I'll recycle them along with my donations!

Thanks...hope you decide to contribute now or in the future! Spread the word to friends & coworkes & encourage them to join you in recycling & helping the community!

Easter Cookies

2007-03-26T05:06:00.000-07:00

A fellow Mops Mom passed this on to me and I thought it was a great way to explain the Easter story to our little ones...

Easter Story Cookies

To be made the evening before Easter.

1 c. whole pecans
pinch of salt
wooden spoon
1 tsp. Vinegar
1 c. sugar
3 eggs whites
zipper baggie
tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300°.

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with wooden
spoon to break into small pieces.

Explain that after Jesus was arrested, the Roman soldiers beat Him.
Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. Vinegar into mixing
bowl.

Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given Vinegar
to drink.

Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar.

Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us
life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and
brush the rest into the bowl.

Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus'
followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27. So far
the ingredients are not very appetizing.

Add 1-c. sugar.

Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died
because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read
Psalms 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks
are formed.

Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of
those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and
John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie
sheet.

Explain that each mound represents the rocky tombstone where Jesus'
body was laid.

Read Matthew 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven
OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.

Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66.

GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the
oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was
sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice
the cracked surface and Take a bite. The cookies are hollow!

On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb
open and empty.

Read Matthew 28:1-9.

If woman controlled the world..

2007-03-26T04:31:00.000-07:00

If Women Controlled The World

IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD...

MAKE ANOTHER

WOMAN'S DAY,
AND SHARE THE SMILES

PLEASE KEEP HER GOING

This woman is walking the World for Breast Cancer. Please pass her on so that she can reach her destination. Say a prayer for all those who are affected by this terrible disease. She's walking around the world -- via e-mail!!

Pass it on so she can get there!

Kiss Me

2007-03-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

Do you Believe?

2007-03-14T05:37:00.000-07:00

Death is certain - but the Bible speaks about untimely death! Make a personal reflection about this.

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): "Be not deceived; God
is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON:
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine,
he said: "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue
aboutthat. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple,
today we are more famous than Him" (1966). Lennon, after saying that the
Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes
from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got
the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During a show in ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his
cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God,
that's for you." He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

THE MAN WHO BUILT THE TITANIC:
After the construction of the Titanic, a reporter asked him how
safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can
sink it" The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE:
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the
Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus". A week
later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT:
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
"Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell". On the
19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own
vomit.

CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005:
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a
friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the
drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand,
who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE
PROTECT YOU." She responded: "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE TRUNK, CAUSE INSIDE
HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL". Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal
accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of
car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact. The police said there
was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside
the trunk was a crate of eggs, none were broken.

Christine Hewitt:
A Jamaican Journalist and entertainer, said the Bible (Word of God)
was the worst book ever written, in June 2006 she was found burnt beyond
recognition in her motor vehicle.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other
name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died,
but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

JESUS!!!

I have done my part, Jesus said

"If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my
father."

"What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses
his soul? What can man give in exchange of his soul?" (Matthew 16:26)

AMEN

Support Preemie Babies

2007-03-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

myspace layouts

http://www.walkamerica.org/MHocutt - Donate Today!

My Cousin ties her laces Again...

2007-02-28T14:42:00.000-08:00

Alia is my incredible cousin with a heart for those with Cancer,
a memory of her Grandmother, and a love to run...........

Hello Everyone,

I, again, have signed up to fundraise for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as a participant of Team in Training (http://www.teamintraining.org/) while I train for the Mayor's Marathon which will take place on June 23rd in Anchorage, Alaska. I gave myself a goal of $5000 last time and exceeded it thanks to the generosity of MANY donors. This time I plan to raise at least $6000. 75% of every dollar received will go towards research to treat and one day cure Leukemia, Lymphoma and Myeloma, as well as family and patient aid while living with blood cancer every day. The other 25% goes towards funding the program and my travel and board in Alaska during the marathon weekend.

I will be training and completing my second marathon in memory of my grandmother Mama T, who my family lost last September to metastasized uterine cancer. It was a very difficult and long journey and I do not wish that struggle on anyone, no matter what type of cancer they are fighting.

Please help me help others. If you cannot donate, cheers and encouragement are just as welcome.

All donations are tax-deductible. Many companies have a gift matching program, please check if yours is one of them. You can donate online at my personal website

http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/humaidhi, or mail me cash or a check made out to "LLS" to my address

314 W Micheltorena St, Apt 15,

Santa Barbara, CA, 93101

USA

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any and all support I receive.

Love,

Alia

Smallest preemie ever goes home...

2007-02-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

A baby said by doctors to have been the most premature ever born will finally leave hospital today.


	Sonja Taylor with her 'miracle' baby Amillia

Amillia Taylor was delivered after less than 22 weeks in the womb, far less than a full 37 to 40-week pregnancy, and weighed just 10 ounces (284 grams). She was less than 10 inches long and medics gave her litte chance of survival.

Amillia, who was conceived by IVF, had trouble breathing and suffered a mild brain haemorrhage and digestive problems.

Her mother Sonja Taylor was not allowed to hold her for more than six weeks after she was born last October.

But her health has now improved after spending almost four months in an incubator and receiving oxygen at a neo-natal intensive care unit at Baptist Children’s Hospital in Florida, USA.

And today Amillia, which means resilient in Latin, is due to leave hospital for the first time and go home with her parents.

"We weren’t too optimistic, but she proved us all wrong," said Dr. William Smalling, who called her survival a "miracle".

"She’s going to be in a normal crib, she’s going to have normal feedings, she’s taking all her feedings from a bottle."

The University of Iowa, which keeps track of premature babies born around the world, believes she is the first baby ever to have survived after a gestation period of less than 23 weeks.

But Amillia still only weighs 4lb 60z (less than 2kg) and still needs extra oxygen and asthma medication.

2007-02-19T08:26:00.000-08:00

PRAY THIS EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!!

IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.

You never know when God is going to bless you!! Good things happen when you least expect them to!!!!!!!!

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on
blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you.

I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those that are misjudged and who don't know You intimately. I pray for those that will delete this
without sharing it with others. I pray for those that don't believe.

But I thank you that I believe. I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in
their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met. I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to
fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees it.

Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves!

God, I love you and I need you. Come into my heart, please. AMEN...

walk in celebration of Matilyn`s life

2007-02-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

Every year, millions of babies are born prematurely and with birth defects like gastroschisis. We walk in celebration of Matilyn`s life and in support of the research that could find a cure for prematurity and birth defects. Please join us and know that every dollar counts and helps bring the cure a little closer. Our mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.

That is why I am asking you to support me in March of Dimes WalkAmerica. Because premature birth can happen to any pregnant woman. In nearly half the cases, the causes of prematurity and birth defects are unknown, as was the cause for Matilyn`s gastroschisis. The March of Dimes is leading the way to find answers by supporting research into these causes. I am joining the fight, and so can you.

Your support helps fund:
-Research into stress and other factors that may trigger preterm labor.
-Programs to educate pregnant women to recognize the warning signs of preterm labor.
-Tools to help health care providers find better ways to detect women who may be at risk for preterm labor.

Please join in and help fight prematurity and birth defects. Visit my webpage and sponsor me in the Walk that saves babies!

Thank You!
My personal web page address for donations is ...

http://www.walkamerica.org/MiracleMatilynsTeam

Would you like to see what WalkAmerica is and why I’m walking?
Click the link to see the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVghSy-Cens

The March of Dimes mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.

Click Now to sponsor me for WalkAmerica!

The Room

2007-02-16T10:46:00.001-08:00

THE ROOM

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote.." It also was the last.

Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teary Valley High School. Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them-notes from classmates and teachers, his homework.

Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life.. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven. "It makes such an impact that people want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room.. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."-Phil. 4:13 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." If you feel the same way forward it so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

Help me Win Survivor!

2006-11-28T13:18:00.000-08:00

I NEED help to win an on-line game I am currently playing!!!!

You can learn more about the game here: boardgamegeek.com

IF you would take 30 seconds and send and e-mail to wildscrpio@yekrats.com

Subject line MUST read: Survivor Wildscrpio

In the base of the e-mail just say.. I am Martha's friend...

THAT'S it.. Easy right??? PLEASE!! This is a competition with 3 others! If I don't have the most.. I LOOSE!

This contest ends on Wednesday 11-29-06 at Noon (CT)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

YES!!!! I rock my own free world!! I managed to post twice in less than a month. Amazing when that happens. Nothing actually new going on here. Managing to stay clear of all drama. Just trying to keep my family close, God closer and the enemy far far away. I know he's there knocking but I am just flat out refusing to even peek out at him. Working on yet another yard sale here.. This one is to raise money for my trip to the MOPS convention in Nashville, TN. I am soo excited. I had a great time last year and am going with 3 new people this year. I will actually be the veteran which is interesting. Nace is gone now, today was my first day flying solo. I will need to bring music to work now because I am freaked out listening to myself think. Nace use to talk to himself, play music by tapping a pen, make thinking sounds, grunts at e-mails, you know typical guy noise stuff... Yet today I really missed it. It was creepy looking at the empty office. I finally just closed the door. I am certain it will get better. Okay now I am starting to get sleepy.. It's almost midnight... Time to hit the bed! NIGHT!

Another one bites the dust.....

2006-07-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

"Another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust, and anothe rone gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust" For those of who who have recently karoke'd with me.. you know the routine.

Yes.. it's true another month has passes since my last post! wow...

A lot has changed yet nothing has changed... Drama.. and stuff!!

I tried going a month with out my anti-anxiety drug, yeah NOT PRETTY!!! so Today is my first day back on it and I am certain no one is more happy about that than Rick. LOL.. I am not depressed just literally anxious. And the worst part is my anxiety shows itself as anger... as that is my form of expressing my anxiety. If that makes sense to you. Irritation would be another good word to describe it. I literally wake up just pissed off... at who? at what? who knows... life! I take a very low dose drug and it basically takes the "edge" away and makes me a much nicer person to deal with. I just hate that I have to take it.. BUT I really tried to control it with no luck.

Our Pastor Nace is leaving us to head for another church in Burke, VA. sigh.. he's not "just" our Pastor he's our friend, the person who baptized us, dedicated my son, our first Pastor, and of course my boss. That's a lot of hats if you think about it. Tomorrow is his last sermon..... and per a typical guy he is avoiding the emtions... LOL.... I can respect that. But.. I am just really sad.... My work experience is about to become drastically different..........................................

Speaking of work I am now up to 20 hours a week, and trying to figure out how to manage all the "Mommy" stuff, with fun stuff, and work stuff and lets not forget Mops and my womans small group stuff too! It is only my 2nd week doing it so I am sure it will work itself out but I currently feel like I live in a wind tunnel. lol............ being sucked into the vector and occasionally spewed out. Ohhhh how I wish it would suck my dirty clothes pile up only to spit it back at CLEAN at me.

Alex is Alex........... going down for bed a hair easier but not sleeping all night nor sleeping in his own bed. Honestly.. I have lost my gumpshin on this, I'm tired and well.. yeah I'm TIRED!

Vacations do not help sleep!

2006-06-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Wait... Has it seriously been a month since I have posted? Whoa.. Honestly where does the time go?????

Well 3 trips in less than a month I guess can sure make a month ZOOM by without warning. A 5 day camping trip with my church, 4 days in Memphis with my In Laws, and 12 days in NH, just Alex, myself and my family.

Of COURSE during these trips Alex's bedtime routine and sleeping pattern got all mixed up. Sigh.. He ended back in the bed with us and I cannot seem to get him back on track. Last night was BAD. I think I got maybe 3 hours of sleep all night. From 12:30 to 5am he was up every 15 to 20 minutes. Crying, whining, whimpering, wailing, screaming, getting out of bed, fighting. I seriously tried every trick in my sleeve. At 4:30 I moved my pillows onto the floor next to his bed and he seriously fell asleep holding my hand there. I KNOW he can do it.. He has done it before now it's just a matter of making his body and mind remember it. SOOO tonight the Sleep Lady is Back.. And starting from scratch. I am going to act like this is Day 1 and go from there. Sooo... I am back to posting.........

It's the only way I can find patterns, vent, and allow myself to have melt downs without taking it out on him. I PRAY this does not take the same amount of time as last time BUT.. I am back in it for the long haul. Guess I better start getting my butt to bed earlier.

He took an hour nap at school today...... And he is EXHAUSTED! Droopy eyes... And very low key. NOT my normal hyper boy so bed time will come quickly tonight. Could be as early as 7:30.

Honestly I just want to drop my head onto the desk right here and sleep...............

In bed.. lights out, at 7:30. I sat against his bedroom door reading a book. Although no crying it took him an HOUR to settle down. He was fidgeting all over the bed regardless or how exhausted he was. Finally at 8:30 sleep won and he closed his eyes.... now for the rest of the night!

Cross our fingers!

2006-05-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

Day 19 Sunday Night 5-21-06
Day 8 No Milk
Day 7 Sleeping on own...

8:20pm - Lights out

8:25pm - Alex crying in bed he says "He doesn't want to sleep like a big boy"

8:32pm - I turn and Alex is in the hallway on the floor with his pillow and blanket. I realize I took his "gate"/towel down. I move him back into the doorway. I told him he can sleep on the floor but it HAS to be in his room!

8:45pm - Alex calls me because "Chuckie" his stuffed dog was cold and needed a blanket. I go in and he has the dog laying on a pillow on the floor next to him. I indulge him and put a blanket on Chuckie.

9:05pm - All is quiet and Alex is finally asleep on floor!

10pm - Moved Alex to his bed, never woke up.

6:01am - Alex came in and told me his clock says 6:00 can he get in bed with us? OMG.. He slept ALL NIGHT!!!!!

HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Change in schedule.. BAD!

2006-05-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

Day 18 Saturday Night 5-21-06
Day 7 No Milk
Day 6 Sleeping on own...

We went to a friends for a BBQ and to play games. Sleep schedule went out the window and boy did I pay for it. It was a total and complete wash. I am not even going to write it out because it was BAD!!!

Lessons learned -
1. Miss the sleep window and your doomed!
2. Change up the routine or place of sleep and you will pay the price of no sleep!

A Pattern? Could it be???

2006-05-19T20:19:00.000-07:00

Day 17 Friday Night 5-20-06
Day 6 No Milk
Day 5 Sleeping on own...

I am almost afraid to even speak the words but I think.. We may have "officially" had a break through. For the first time in 3.5 years my son is now going to sleep both at night and at nap ON HIS OWN! This his HUGE! No crying, no fussing, no arguing.. Nothing just a good night kiss and off he goes. As if that alone isn't big enough... He is now not waking up almost all night until dawn. For a child who just a month ago was waking 3-9 times a night this truly is something to Thank God for. I almost feel bad complaining about his wake up at 5:30 in the morning. Guilty even...

Late bed time tonight.... Took a little later nap so was allowed to push bed time back.

9:10pm in bed, lights out

9:15pm - still awake but quiet

9:25pm - Rick checks on him, awake but quiet

10:20pm - asleep and in his bed

2:10am - Alex is sitting in his bed crying.. I try to console him from my bed, no good, he's still crying. I go in and he tells me "He's tired of sleeping like a big boy and wants to come get in my bed". I almost had to laugh except it was 2:10am, therefore the funny factor didn't hit until this morning. I finally get him settled and back to sleep. 2:20am back to bed for me.

6:40am - Alex comes into our room annouces that he slept like a big boy, and the sun is now up! (I swear I heard a rooster some where in there).

Team work is key!

2006-05-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Day 16 Thursday Night 5-19-06
Day 5 No Milk
Day 4 Sleeping on own...

Today Alex started at a new school with a new schedule and a "set" nap time. Needless to say things didn't go bad.... But not great either! He clearly had not napped as when he got home he crashed in my arms and was horrible to wake up not waking till almost 5:00pm. So we pushed bedtime back just a hair, plus we were at Wal-Mart buying some essentials for our camping trip next week.

9:00pm - Lights out

9:06pm - Playing with stuffed barking dog and had moved himself to the floor. I said it was fine as long as he stopped with the dog or I would come back and take it. All was quiet after that.

9:20pm - Asleep

10:30pm - Moved him to his bed.. Out cold

*** Rick and I have agreed and set guidelines that no matter what Alex will not be allowed into our bed until 6am and not a moment earlier! We agreed on this together. Later on when a routine has been established we might change this but for now it will stand!

5:30am - Only a 10 minute regression so not bad. Climbed around to Rick's side, Rick said he got it so I laid there and listened. I KNOW it was against everything in Rick's fiber to put him back in his bed but I really appreciated him respecting and listening to me. That went FAR in my book. Alex sat in his bed crying while Rick walked around getting ready for bible study. I knew this HAD to be distracting to Alex so I got up and told him if he laid in bed quietly for 5 minutes I would allow him into our room. LOL... It worked in less than 5 minutes he was asleep. And stayed asleep until 6am. At that point he came and laid with me and we both went back to sleep until 7:40.

ahhhhhhhhhhh all good things!!!!!

Sleep is so good for the soul!

2006-05-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Day 15 Wednesday Night 5-18-06
Day 4 No Milk
Day 3 Sleeping on own...

2 hour nap today.. Went down easy and woke up on his own happy and chipper!

8:30pm - Lights out.... All is quiet!

8:45pm - Still quiet, peeked in, still settling but never saw me.

9:00pm - Out cold, moved him onto his pillow and under his blankets

10:15pm - I am off to bed.. This Mama has to catch up on 3.5 years of sleep!!!

5:40am - I wake up to my son crying laying in between us! I roll over and Rick is awake and soothing him. I ask how long he has been there and he said I just let him up. I calmly explain that it's only 5:40 and that's 20 minutes too soon. His response "It's close enough"! AHHHHHHHHHHHH
I am so mad I could SCREAM! I am so mad I got out of bed because I just couldn't lay there stewing. THEN... He gets up to get Alex his milk.. Oh HECK NO! I say no way not till 6:00. Every night Alex has been making progress staying in bed and sleeping a little longer. Last night he made it to 5:40 that's 20 minutes extra from the night before. I have been working so hard to get him to stay in his bed till 6:00am. Alex even intentionally went right past my side of the bed and went all the way around to Rick's.

Today was suppose to be a great day. My son's preschool graduation (no, he's not graduating just performing), getting to stay in bed till 7 with my husband on a work day.......... And now it's 6:10am and my husband and son are in our marriage bed together snuggling, while I am out here alone and mad.