My 6 Month Reminder

Ugh.. It came! Yesterday I opened the mailbox and there it was staring back at me. I wanted to shut the door and walk away. Can't I keep on living the lie? White, crisp, black lettering, the 6 month reminder from my son's Neurosurgeon. It's so easy to forget he has a 2.5 Ventricle bleed in his brain. I look at him and just wonder how it could be true. I always worry buying hats, has his head grown even larger? Could the hydrocephalus be getting worse? Is this the time they will tell me my baby boy needs brain surgery and a shunt?

I heard all the words the doctors told me at birth. Speech delay, mild to severe retardation, brain surgery, shunt, hydrocephalus, and so on and so forth, NONE of which has happened so far. PRAISE THE LORD!!

!!! GOD IS INCREDIBLE !!!

But then that stinkin' post card shows up and knocks my world back into doubt until once again a man in a stark white jacket comes through the door to tell me we have another 6 month reprieve. It's amazing the power that white jacket holds. As I sit on the edge of the cold metal chair waiting, wondering, impatient, screaming in my head for him to just spit out the words and enough with the small talk.

Here I am again back to the wondering stage until our appointment...........