Wednesday is over!

Wednesday was a long difficult day! Alex is having asthma problems. He was really struggling yesterday. After a steroid shot, chest x-rays, and breathing treatments every 4hrs it was a tough day. He was clingy and whinny. This didn't give me much time to focus on me or my story.

Rick was gone all day at a conference and didn't get home until 6pm. He walked in the door and the devil took hold me. I started a big fight over nothing. I was mean and nasty. We fought over nothing. I left saying forget it... I'm not doing my story. EXACTLY what the devil wanted. Luckily, my friend Lori found me and helped me regain my focus on the Lord. She prayed with me, and encouraged me to call Rick and apologize. Rick being the amazing man he is had already forgiven me. He realized right away what was happening. With that behind me it was time to let go and tell my story.

I brought pictures along so that people could see my progression. I spoke for a little over an hour. I found myself getting off track several times but managed to pull myself together and find the ending. (next time it will be easier and more focused). There were tears, laughter, smiles and forgiveness. My history will always be a part of me. Those pains, those struggles were all part of God's plan. In order for me to be strong enough to handle Alex and the things to come I first had to understand true struggle. God always knew regardless of the fact no one ever told me He loved me, I would find Him. He was building Lori's Faith so that she would be ready to take me under her wing, to nurture me, and love me. She was the first person to ever stop and say "yes, Martha God does love you". I am so excited to Love God back. God's purpose for me is straight down the path ahead of me.... I am off to find it!