Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Give a gift....

Most of our giving at Christmas involves an even exchange of gifts—something appropriate to the friendship or the family connection. We sometimes base our gifts on what we received the year before. But the Bible talks about giving as well to those who can’t give anything back. This is the way God gave that first Christmas. He owes us nothing, yet He has given us everything in His only Son, and He asks for nothing other than for us to believe it and receive it. We, in turn, can give nothing back that comes anywhere near the value of His gift to us. The closest we can come is to give Him our own lives in service and obedience, which in truth is all that we have. Which makes our service not a duty, but a gift. Not an obligation, but a joy. Our service to God is our gift back. It’s nothing we can buy and wrap up. It costs more than that.

This Christmas, as you work on your lists, think of giving to someone who is not in a position to give back. And do it quietly, perhaps even anonymously, so that the person receiving feels no obligation to the giver. This will give us a small taste of what God feels all the time.

The streets are very dirty; my shoes are very thin.
I have a little pocket to put a penny in.
If you haven't got a penny, a ha' penny will do.
If you haven't got a ha' penny then God bless you.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Being lifted up in prayer...........

Thank you Renee...............

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the blessing that Martha has been in my life, for her
honesty, for her openness, and for her ability to be direct and

Father, you know what Martha is dealing with at this point in her
life, as a wife, as a mother, and as your child. Father, direct her
steps, show her the way in which to walk. Let her hear your voice in
her ear, saying "this is the way, walk in it."

Show her your tenderness and mercy and help her to distinguish your
voice from that of the enemy. Give Martha the ability to see herself as
you see her, as your precious child, adored, precious in your sight and
loved beyond anything she could ever imagine.

Father, you have promised to supply all of our needs according to your
riches in glory and to pour out peace, patience, joy, and love wherever
your spirit dwells. Your spirit dwells within Martha; please honor your
promises to her, let her see the mark of your hand in her life. Show
her the purpose that you have for her, and give her the ability to turn
to you in every circumstance she faces.

Father, as Alex's mother, help her to raise and nurture him in ways
that will cause him to love and serve only you. Give her respect for
Rick as his wife, in ways that neither of them have ever imagined. Make
her heart sensitive to your calling and give her a desire to spend time
with you.

Father, please enrich their finances. Give Rick wisdom and knowledge
as the spiritual leader of their home that their money may be spent
wisely in ways that honor you and serve your purposes. Father, help
Martha to honor his decisions and to fully participate in financial
planning for their family. Give her a new willingness to find ways to
save money and to avoid spending.

Father, thank you for the daycare situation Alex has. He has opened up
and grown up so much in the past months, and I know that you have a
plan for his future, to give him hope and prosperity and an abundant
life in you. Help him to keep to your paths of righteousness. Let him
clearly hear your voice. Speak into his life and give him ears to hear.

In Jesus Name,


Sunday, December 18, 2005

My worst Mommy Moment!

Friday at about 11:20am I had my WORST Mommy moment. I live on a long hill with my mailbox at the bottom so I always stop to grab the mail while either coming or going. I had Alex and we were running home for lunch before heading off to run an arm full of errands. I jumped out quickly and left Alex in the car seat, with the engine running. When I returned.... yep.. you guessed it I had hit the lock button with my arm and my dear lil' 3 year old was now locked inside the van! UGH.... my cell phone, house keys, everything was IN the van. I tried to get Alex to unbuckle himself but he doesn't know how. He was calm while I was freaking out. I raced up the hill and thanked the lord for having me put a spare key in my laundry room... I grabbed my phone and dialed Rick's work number. As I raced down the hill.. THANK YOU GOD for allowing my cordless to reach all the way to the bottom (which it never has before). Lori called in the midst of my panic and I had her call our friend from church Laura, who's husband is a locksmith. She sent him right over.... mean while, I cried and freaked out and Alex just sat happily in the car laughing at me. Tom arrived and had Alex out in minutes. YEAH.. praise God for small miracles. He assured me that almost every Mama does it at least once. As far as I am concerned I NEVER want to do it again. I now have at least 5 new gray hairs on my head.
It might well have been the longest 20 minutes of my entire life.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Asthma does not mean death sentence!

Woo Hoo! I am not necessarily going to die before I hit 50. Okay a little back ground, I was born with asthma and have been labeled a "severe" asthmatic since I was about 8 years old. I have used every inhaler known to man, and have been on some sort of daily medication since I was 8. About 2 months ago my medication slowly stopped working and I have needed my nebulizer and "rescue" inhaler far more than I care to admit. Let's just say I went through one inhaler in less than 2 weeks were it use to last me 4-6 months. Yeah.. It's been bad. A month ago I ended up in the ER with an "attack" upon arrival my O2 level was sitting in the low 80's. (most people sit between 98 to 100%). I made an appt. With my regular GP, after and tried to explain that I felt my medication was no longer working. What I got in return was a shock. He accused me of not taking my medication properly, or at all. Would not listen to my concerns and told me in front of my 3 year old son that if I didn't start taking my disease seriously I was going to die before I hit 50. I was PISSED... Sad.. Hurt.. Mad... Angry.. Depressed.. Full of anxiety. All of which by the way only make your asthma worse. UGH... After some serious venting to my friend Lori and my Mom, the convinced me to see a Pulmonary specialist. (which in reality I should have been doing all along). I found one and was able to get an appt in under 2 weeks. Thank GOD for small Miracles. I saw him today and he felt horrible for the way I was treated. He said he feels I have some under lying issues that may be making my asthma worse but wanted to concentrate on getting the asthma controlled first. He was nice, listened, gave me full answers, heard my concerns about medications, explained "myths" about things I had heard about certain medications and even gave me documentation to back up what he said. I really LIKED him. YEAH.... He did a lung function test which I passed with flying colors, he said he is shocked but he sees no damage in my lungs from my asthma. YIPPEE........ He did Chest x-rays that showed some scare tissue but not severe, and congestion that was headed towards pneumonia but gave me some meds to help kick it before it got bad. Did I mention he actually listened to me and actually took what I said into consideration. God, did I like that. In most cases I have been an asthmatic longer than these people have been doctors.... Yet they treat me like I am some dumb girl who smokes 2 packs a day and says uhh why am I wheezing?? DOH'! Anyway... I start my new meds tomorrow... Back on the prednisone.. YUCK!!!!!! But, gotta do it! Pray for my husband... He's the one who has to deal with me. I guess this is one less stressor for me... For now!

Oh my Gosh...

Where has the time gone! Okay Okay.. enough e-mails.. I'm alive! Honest.. just really really busy. Well okay I am busy but also I fell into a rut. A spiritual, emotional, nasty old rut. Sigh.. I felt like how could I be spiritual for others when I was feeling so dead. Sadly, not much has changed but I have gotten so many e-mails asking where I am hiding I felt like I needed to address it.

I am now working part-time for our Church (Hope Community Church) as an office assistant. Getting use to my new schedule has been interesting. Of course that meant adding an extra day of preschool for Alex. I was a little sad about that but honestly I didn't have a choice. We NEED the money. Like a serious NEED. Money is a part of a lot of my issues.... I am not sure how much I want to get into that here... but maybe a little later I will share my families struggles. BUT, in the mean time maybe you all could pray for us. Pray for self control, for a better paying job for Rick, for us to get into a budget and stick to it, for our landlord to have mercy on us. I think you get my drift!

I could sit here and list all of the things I need prayers for but during the season of love and giving that just seems wrong.

I think I will try to start journaling more... they may be vague at first or scattered in the mind... BUT, I will try my best. I miss my on-line friends and my freedom to babble, vent, praise, and just be here!

I'm back...... I promise!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Remember, it's almost my birthday...

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated.
During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration.

Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration. I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits,
assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were
many, many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation.

The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside,
they closed the door in my face......... and I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I was not invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a great time.

To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard
entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa
and all the children ran to him, saying : "Santa Claus, Santa Claus"... as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 midnight all the people began to hug each other ; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and .... do you know .... no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me.

What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one ? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left. Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life.

I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you. Today, only want that you believe this with all you heart. I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book.

Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invitation, will be left outside. Do you know how you can answer this invitation? it is by extending it to invite me in your heart and by extending to the......others whom you care for... I'll be waiting for all of you to attend my party this year...

See you soon .... I love you !