Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A letter from God... Are you listening?

I got this in an e-mail from my friend Renee today.

It is from the book:

"Come away my Beloved" by: Frances J Roberts

"Oh, My child, give Me your heart, for out of it issues life. My hand is upon you, and I will keep you in all places wherever you go. I am your God and I am your Father, and I will care for you and provide for you, according to all that you need. I will be at your side, ready to help you whenever you call on me. I am not unmindful of your needs, and My concern is for you. You do not need to carry your own load, for I will be happy to help you carry it and to bear you up as well. You do not walk alone or meet any situation alone, for I am with you, and I will give you wisdom and strength, and My blessing shall be yours. Keep your heart set on Me and your affections on things above; for I cannot bless you unless you ask Me. And I cannot answer if you do not call. I cannot minister to you unless you come to Me. Do not wait to feel worthy, for no one is worthy of My blessings. My graced bypasses your shortcomings, and I give to My children because they ask of Me and because I love them; I do not love one more than another. I give most liberally to those who ask the most of Me, for I love to have you depend on Me. Heaven's resources are at your command, and you need never want, so long as I am your Shepherd. Do not think that since I know all about you, you need not bother to tell Me. It is true that I know, but you need to tell Me so that in the telling, you may experience the release of an open heart, and the fellowship of a Friend. Never presume My presence. Never assume that knowing your need, I will automatically supply. Ask and it shall be given. Call upon Me, and I will answer you. Tell Me that you love Me, and I will make your heart know in a very real way My love for you and My nearness, and you shall never feel alone. Welcome Me into your heart, and the more you sense My presence within you, the more you will fell at home no matter where you may be. Forget anything else, but never forget this."

Attitude Sandwhich

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all
circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Nothing better than a gut check! Just when you think you have it bad you know there are others out there suffering worse. God doesn't say Praise me when your car breaks down, but rather praise me that you even have a car to break down. When your sick.. Know there is someone out there sicker. Stop and thank the Lord for the health you do have, the functions God has granted you.
I have been following a young girl named Bailey's blog. She has been in the hospital since January awaiting a heart transplant. Bailey's and her Mom's amazing spirit is evident on every page. They ooze courage, faith, grace, love, humor, and fight. To read Angie's (the Mom) writing it is as if you are truly there with them, feeling everything they are feeling. The highs and the lows. It makes your daily life seem so trivial and easy in comparison. If you have a moment to stop by Bailey's Blog and pour a little love and prayer into her page I know they would be grateful.
There is another young friend of mine who is also suffering. Her name is Ashleigh, and she is 3 years old. Ashleigh was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma cancer June 7, 2004 - 5 weeks before her 3rd Birthday. She has been fighting and beating this disease for a YEAR now. Think back to what you were doing a year ago. If you look up the word Fighter in the dictionary you will find Ashleigh's smiling face. Prayers have gotten her family through the toughest times. The road has been and continues to be rocky. I ask that you stop and leave a breath prayer for Ashleigh and her family.
Having these 2 young people in my heart and prayers on a daily basis makes my life seem so easy and uncomplicated in comparison. Today.. My Blog is dedicated to these 2 Hero's and their families!
"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you"
1 Thessalonians 5:28

Friday, May 27, 2005

Before I was a Mom

My Friend Shannon started a great post this morning and I felt the need to copy it to my blog and add some of my own!

These are Shannon's:

Before I was a mom...

Before I was a mom I thought it was hard to get up at 7AM for classes, now my kids get up at 6:45 everyday and wake me up. You get used to it eventually right?

Before I was a mom, my friend had a baby boy and told me how she loved him instantly and that it was the most powerful love you'll ever feel. I thought sure she loves her kid, but now I know what it feels like to have your heart outside of your body and to feel as if you are one with another little being.

Before I was a mom I hated getting sick, but now it tears me up to see my children ill or hurting. Now if I get sick we have to call in reinforcements to care for the family and that is only if I am really really sick.

Before I was a mom I used to judge parents who I saw with their kids that may have been throwing a tantrum or screaming. I used to assume they must be bad parents. Well now I am sometimes the one with the screaming toddler pulling against my hand because they don't want to go where we need to or won't stay out of the street.

Before I was a mom other parents would tell me how hard it was, so often that I tried of hearing about it. It was not going to change the fact that I wanted a baby. When my son was about 1 year I told an expecting mom how hard it was and then immediately apologized!

Before I was a mom I would have had lots of time to think of things to type, but you know... :)

These are Mine:

Before I was a Mom, I would have never given up my life to save his.

Before I was a Mom, I would have never walked around with snot on my shoulder and been okay with it.

Before I was a Mom, I would have NEVER talked about bodily functions with other people.

Before I was a Mom, I use to stare at people when they picked up their child and sniffed there bottoms.

Before I was a Mom, I actually slept in the same bed as my husband.

Before I was a Mom, I was organized.

Before I was a Mom, I always got a shower - every day!

Before I was a Mom, I saw all the movies I wanted in the theater.

Before I was a Mom, I went shopping for me.

Before I was a Mom, I always had clean laundry.

Before I was a Mom, I worked out.

Before I was a Mom, I would have never driven a Mini Van and now I want one!

Before I was a Mom, I wouldn't have been caught dead singing the Barney song.

Before I was a Mom, I said a Thousand "When I am a Mother I will never do that" and now I do.

Before I was a Mom, I never thought I would be staying at home with him.

Before I was a Mom, I would have never imagined How badly I could hurt for another while watching them suffer.

Before I was a Mom, I thought potty training was easy.

Before I was a Mom, my husband and I got frisky when ever, where ever we wanted.

Before I was a Mom, I thought my Mom was crazy.

Before I was a Mom, I had a garbage mouth.

Before I was a Mom, I never worried about a hangover.

Before I was a Mom, I never worried about lack of sleep.

Before I was a Mom, my love was selfish.

Before I was a Mom, I had no idea how much Jesus loved me.

And then my Friend Stacy Added These:

Before I was a mom I never peed my pants while sneezing!

Before I was a mom I never squirted breast milk all over the place when I took my bra off.

Before I was a mom I never had anyone tell me I am the bestest mommy ever.

Before I was a mom I would have NEVER picked another persons nose!

Before I was a mom I would have never wiped another persons butt!

Before I was a mom I would have never had soggy cereal and burnt toast as breakfast in bed!

Before I was a mom I never had a friend like Martha!

I am WEAK...

Okay so I come to you.. HUMBLE.. Weak.. Broken! Sigh... I didn't even make one stinking day! Last night Alex and I ran out to buy milk and bread. Well of course, I ran smack into the coke display. And I SWEAR it screamed Buy me.. Buy me! Not sure it makes me look any better BUT, I didn't buy the biggest bottle I could have AND I didn't drink it all. I had 3/4 of it last night. This morning I took a few swigs off it, and placed it in my car. While my son and I were at story time it turned very very warm and flat. YUCK.. Needless to say I didn't finish it. HOORAY for ME! So, lets just say I drank 16 of the 20 ounces. BUT... Today I have only had those few small swigs, and NOTHING else! My headache is creeping back in but the shakes seem better. I CAN do this.. One small set back will not make me stop!!! I MUST do this not only for myself but for my Husband's health and for my son.

Here's to water... Juice.. And Water! (grin)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Hi, My Name is Martha and I am an Addict!


Okay so I gave up soda yesterday. I am so embarrassed to even be admitting this but uhh.. I usually drank several cans of day. I was truly addicted. I decided a few days ago that after this last box of cans were gone I swore to myself no matter what I wouldn't buy more. Yesterday, I drank my last can. I only had one yesterday. I milked it for every last drop too. This morning I woke up with a screaming headache. (yes, on occasion I have been known to drink my Pepsi with my cereal). This afternoon the shakes have started. Seriously... My skin is crawling and nothing is quenching my thirst. I cannot even believe that soda can have this effect over you. What's weird is for YEARS I never even drank soda. We never even had it in our house. Then my son Alex was born and the sleepless nights started and have yet to start. I got hooked on my soda to pep me up. Then.. I literally started craving it. I HAD to have it and nothing tasted as good. I would even joke that an IV of it would be great.

So umm..... Have a little pity on me... Pray for me to get through the next few days so I can conquer this!

How to Make Choices you won't regret!

Well.. My first ever bible study is over. We did a 6 week precept study called "How to make choices you won't regret" by Kay Arthur, David & BJ Lawson.

The first 2 weeks I felt incredibly "stupid". Everyone seemed to have so much more knowledge in the bible that at times I felt totally out of place. Over time though I found my comfort ground and realized it was okay if I knew less as I was there to learn. The woman made me feel really comfortable and at ease. I am just so blessed that God has led me here to Columbus, MS and to these Amazing woman.

Last night really set the mark for me, I can't go into full detail here in order to protect myself and others BUT... We worked on the following scripture:

Galatians 5:19-25

"Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are; immorality, impurity,sensuality, Idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of the which I forewarn just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit."

I personally didn't realize some of the sins listed where considered sins. "outbursts of anger" was one that really struck a cord with me. I have a horrible temper. One I sadly learned through my Father. Over time it has gotten better but at times I know I am out of control. The more someone learns to push my buttons the worse it gets. It really was a wake up call for me. Something for me to work on and something for me to strive for.

At the end of the study it had a great wrap up but it was the last 3 paragraphs that really struck me. I just had to come here and share with all of you.

"You have been given the resources: the Word and the Holy Spirit. The choice is yours. Will you walk according to the Word of God, being led by the spirit? Or will you choose to disregard the Spirit's leading and follow after your fleshly desires?

If you choose to sin, remember that you can't choose where sin will lead you. A choice for instant gratification of your fleshly desires can bring consequences that last a lifetime; even worse, it can bring death to you or to those you love.

On the other hand, friend, should you choose to walk according to the Word, being led by the Spirit, God will bless you more than you ever imagined possible!"

What will you choose to do?

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A Girl named Stacy........

There is this friend.. We'll call her STACY. She is a good friend, No make that a BEST FRIEND. We chat every day on the computer and usually several times a week on the phone. Well... She always is peeking in on my blog here yet NEVER leaves me any comments. I have dropped several hints about her never leaving a comment but still NOTHING! I even have mentioned her SEVERAL times on here. WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO PEOPLE????

Well.. It turns out.. I just have to come out and ask!

She was leaving a message on someone's blog that she reads everyday yet doesn't know them. So I said.. OHHHHHHH I see how it is you leave a comment on her's but not MINE!!! (joking of course). Her response.. She asked for those lurkers to speak up. So, I said so that's what I have to do? Stacy of course said Umm YES!

So.. Here I am down on my busted up little knees begging you STACY to leave me a comment on my blog!


Stacy, Stacy, Bo Bacy, Bannana Ranna, so, facey, Fe Fy, Mo Macy......... STACY

Growing up Country!

I grew up in a small town called Litchfield, NH. I spent my summers barefoot. Running around on freshly cut grass. My feet were tough, and often green. We lived on a big organic farm. The farmer use to pay my sister when she was little to pick bugs off the plants. She had to count them and bring the bucket full of bugs when she was done. Looking back I think he didn't expect her to actually pick that many maybe a 100 or so. He offered her 1 penny a bug. My sister might have been 5 at the time, but even then she was an over achiever. She would literally bring out 500 to 1,000 bugs at a shot. After a few times the poor farmer had to renegotiate the deal. She was never forced to do it, she just did it because she loved it. I sold Strawberries, Blueberries, and Raspberries. Oh man I ate way more than I sold. They were so yummy. My brothers picked corn. What a horrible job that was. They would come back covered in yellow, and hands covered in sores. YUCK. It was an experience though and something I have come to cherish since moving away.

Just a little memory that popped into my head today as I look at my green feet!

How Children make friends!

Growing Younger by: John Fischer

We often think of spiritual growth as getting spiritually bigger and stronger. That would make sense since it’s the meaning of the word. We even have a term we use for those who have walked with God a long time: we call them “spiritual giants.” Yet I’m not sure they, or God, would support the metaphor.
On a couple of occasions when the disciples of Jesus volunteered to shoo the children away, Jesus rebuked them and made a point of His preference for children, going as far as to say that the rest of us need to become like them if we have any desire of finding a heaven in our future.
I wonder what part of being like children he meant. Obviously he didn’t mean we were to be like children in everything, because children are na├»ve and foolish sometimes. Children are immature and God is pointing us all to maturity in Christ. But in some things spiritual, children have the upper hand.
The most obvious is their simple and total faith and trust in their parents, which becomes an example for us of how to trust our heavenly Father. Secondly, and not quite as obvious, is the wonder of a child. A small child is on a road of discovery and every new thing is full of delight. It does not take much to please young children because their imaginations are so active and their experiences are so new and fresh. Parents love this season. A two-dollar car will completely satisfy the desire of a four-year-old, but an eight-year-old is not going to be happy with anything less than a thirty-nine-dollar remote control Hummer.
Something else I’m observing with my five-year-old is the ease by which he makes friends. We often go a local park after his pre-school and I watch him immediately jump in with whoever is there — no introductions necessary. Yesterday, someone he had never met before gave him a new Lego star wars module still in it’s package.
For children this age at the park, there are always parents around, and I notice painfully how careful and suspicious we are of each other as we play out this little charade to determine whether or not we will introduce ourselves and bother getting into conversation. Our children have no problem with what is a difficult barrier for us, and the contrast makes our isolation even
more apparent.

We need friends. Both our fellowship and our mission in life revolve around friendships. We need to be more eager to develop these, even if only for a moment at the park. You never know when a relationship might save a life. Take it from our kids.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Update on THE Boy!

Okay... Here's the update!

He's Alive.... LOL!

Sorry couldn't resist! He seems to be improving! The nurse called back and said that the antibiotics will continue to work for another 5 days. She said as long as his condition does not worsen and no fever returns he should continue to get better. She stated that IF he gets worse or we notice any changes to call them back.

We see his ENT/surgeon on Friday so I will have him listen to his lungs just to make sure things are getting cleared up.

Thank you for all of your prayers! I KNOW they have made a difference in my child's quick recovery.

Monday, May 23, 2005

More Info.........

I decided to e-mail Theresa back giving her a little more info after her last e-mail to me.

My E-mail:

Well.. okay I had not even thought of staph. I always thought Staph was a skin infection? No? I couldn't find anything on the web other than the skin infection kind.

He sounds better today. Still coughing, and mucus coming up but not as bad. He also slept slightly better. So I am trying to ride it out and see what happens.

The ped. didn't think it was mandatory he get a chest x-ray on Thursday and I was not thrilled with the idea of putting him through more torture.

Do you still think it could be pneumonia?? Even though he is sounding a little better? I gave him his last dose of antibiotics today. My concern is that he is not 100% better. I worry once of the antibiotics in a few days we will see a rapid decline. And Rick's parents arrive Saturday! I would HATE for him to be sick!

I just don't know what to do!!!! I don't want to be a worry wort Mom!

Theresa's Response:

I believe you can aquire bacterial pneumonia from a staph source..... nosocomial... ie.. hospital aquired

If he is improving, maybe the antibiotics are working... sometimes it takes a little longer, and he was pretty beat on with surgery & all, maybe it has been the combination of everything has just kicked his butt!

I would put a call in to your ped. & ask if maybe he could continue on the antibiotic, or if she thought that he would continue getting better... some of the newer antibiotics have a longer life than just the time of dosage.... kind of stays with you for a couple of weeks!! So if this is the case, he could continue to improve even off the antibiotics.

I don't think you are being a "worry wart" mom... just a good parent, who has seen that little guy go through way too much!!!!

Hopefully he will be up & running by the time Ricks Parents visit!!

soooo.... After some thinking I decided to stop being silly and call in the professionals! I left a message for the nurse at his doctors and am waiting for a call back!

Nurses to the rescue?

Gee... Wish someone told me I needed a PHD. To take care of my child. Haaa... I e-mailed both my Sister in Laws with everything that is going on with Alex. Theresa works in the ER and has for 10 years. The other Jen, hasn't worked with children since nursing school. (she mainly deals with cancer patients).

Jen's response:

"I would definitely call the doctor today and have him seen, that's my suggestion... They may need to do a chest x-ray and see what is going on... If it is pneumonia or what. I really don't know what to make of it other than that... You know I never worked in pediatrics, but it seems as if he's not getting better with the current treatment, so I would certainly have him seen.
I tend to err on the side of being 'safe than sorry' so that's my advice. Sorry I can't come up with anything else, but I hope it helps. Please let me know what happens and how Alex is doing.... You guys will be in our thoughts..."

Theresa's response:

"SO, sounds like pneumonia to me!! I'm very surprised that your pediatrician didn't do a chest x-ray when you were in the office!! I just did a little research... Both of the antibiotics that Alex had been on would treat a strep infection (streptococcus) But not a staph infection (staph aureus). I certainly do not claim to be a doctor.... But he was in the hospital & had surgery... What is the most common infective organism found in the hospital?? Staph!!!! Maybe, he needs a different antibiotic that would treat that. Can he take zithromax, or cipro?? Both treat bacterial Pneumonia. Just a thought!"

UGH! Today he seems a "little" better. I can still hear rattling in his chest but it is not as bad. I am sticking with the breathing treatments until his chest is quiet. I gave him his last "official" dose of antibiotics. (He only had to take the Omnicef for 5 days). My concern is although he is slightly better he is not 100%. I feel like he should be 100% better after being on antibiotics this entire time. But, then again I am not sure? Maybe because he had surgery it is just going to take longer?? I worry that once the antibiotics have left his body (starting tomorrow, 24 hrs from last dose), he will start to relapse and get worse again. Rick's parents arrive late Saturday and I just don't want him to be sick while they are here!!!

I just cannot decide what to do.. I don't want to be one of these pain in the neck parents who always thinks their kid is sick! LOL.......................

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Events in our lives..

I find it funny how we flow through life based on the events! We started off the month counting down to our last MOPS meeting. Then it was days until surgery, after we counted the days out towards recovery. Finally that even done we look down the road to the next "event". Rick's parents arrive on Saturday. They will be here from the 27th to the 12th. Some of that will be spent in other places so it's not exactly as bad as it seems. After that who knows where our life will lead.. For now we just keep our eyes peeking at the calendar and our hearts asking Jesus, what's next?

Alex seems to be doing better although I am baffled. His chest is "looser" but sounds so full. The rattle is never ending. He is coughing more and with a lot more "green/yellow" production. Several times over the weekend he has thrown up due to the amount of mucus. Sigh... He is now been on antibiotics since Friday the 13th. He took Amoxicillian for 6 days which we were sent home with after surgery. Tomorrow is day 5 of Omnicef, which was prescribed in place of the Amoxicillian due to the bacterial infection in his lungs. Wouldn't that have totally knocked out whatever crap was sitting in there? I am starting to worry he could have "walking" pneumonia. I am totally scratching my head. His fever was gone as of Friday night. He is still not sleeping, he keeps coughing and moaning. It's as if he is struggling to breath or drowning in his own chest fluid. His energy is up but not back to normal by any means. (however he did have surgery only 9 days ago now). As for his breathing treatments I am still doing the Duoneb 3 times a day and pulicort 2x a day. Plus he gets Singulair every day for his asthma. I am totally stumped. I can't decide if I should call the doctor yet again or what!! Any suggestions?

I am going to e-mail my Sister in law, she is a ER nurse of 10 years plus has 2 kids. Maybe she will have a suggestion for me!

Friday, May 20, 2005

shhh.. Recovery? Shh....

(said in a whisper)

Shhhh... Don't say it too loud BUT.. I think Alex may be on the road to recovery? The new meds seem to be working. Although he is still pale, and not eating. He appears to be in less pain and is getting more energy back. Thank you for all of your kind thoughts, prayers and hugs!

I am afraid to even post this as I wonder if I'll jinx myself! LOL....

On that Note.. My friend Stacy really needs your prayers!!

He son TJ is finally on the mend and doing well. Last night her daughter Ashlynn awoke with a fever and vomited all night. Her husband was in a fender bender yesterday. Right now the black cloud is hovering over their house and has been for months now. Please pray for health for the household and good fortune!!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

38 New Visitors?

Wow... I MUST have typed something really exciting today! I had 38 new visitors to my Blog!

Welcome.. Welcome.. one and all! Prop your feet up in a Lazy Boy, grab some popcorn and a coke.. and hang on for a wild ride!

Can anything ever be easy?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................ Can ANYTHING with my child ever be NORMAL and EASY?????

I so thought we had it made! Recovery from the tonsil surgery was going great. He was eating, playing, and pretty much doing well considering. Just normal recovery stuff.... AND then Tuesday night Alex got a high fever. Yesterday he was really out of it and refusing to eat anything. Fever stayed all day yesterday but kept down to about 101 by tylenol. I called his ENT and they said it sounded viral and ride it out. We we tried the riding it out thing and at 5am (after being up all night), he had an asthma attack. Ugh.

So He's running a high fever, wheezing, coughing, has a runny nose, drooling, barely drinking, not eating, crying, moaning, whining, with small bursts of energy where he think he's 100% better and crashes 10 minutes later!

I was on my peds door step at 8am. She listened to his lungs and ran a blood test. Luckily, this time it was just a finger prick! Turns out he has a Bacterial infection brewing. SO... She changed all his meds, and his asthma medication. HOPEFULLY, this will work and my poor baby will start eating again. I just want him to start feeling better and quick!

Any extra prayers you could send our way would be great!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Dancing With God

I got this in an e-mail this morning from my good friend Lisa. I thought it was great and wanted to share!! Thanks Lisa!
Dancing With God
When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "I". "God, "u" and"I" dance." God, you, and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached. If God has done anything for you in your life, please share this message with someone else, for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive. There is no cost, but a lot of rewards; so let's continue to pray for one another.
I Hope You Dance with God

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Verse of the Day

My Bible Verse for Today...........

"I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I sent this to 3 different people today! All having a difficult time, when really I needed to send it to myself!

This, That and The Other...........

Is it Friday yet?

Today was a rough day for me! Alex did not sleep well last night and I think I only got about 3.5 hours of solid sleep all night. Then he refused to take his meds most of the day spitting them out at me. I tried everything I knew to get them into him and NOTHING worked. Thus, he was hurting and beyond crabby. By Noon I had changed his shirt 3 times due to the excessive drooling. I did finally bribe him at about 4:30 and got the meds into him. Eating and drinking were both down today. Day 4 has been the worst so far!!

A high point though.. Is a friend from Church "Laura", came over and let us use her riding lawn mower to get my HUGE hill mowed! YIPPEE! It's like a whole new property now. We are no longer the white trash across from the country club. LOL. It was just beyond sweet of her. I am racking my brain trying to think of what I can do in return. A Thank you... Just doesn't seem like enough. My front yard looks gorgeous now... So drive on by!!!

I am STILL reading
Purpose Drive Life (PDL) By Rick Warren. Yes, I do realize your suppose to do it in 40 days but ya know.. The fact is I am still plugging along. Not only am I reading it by I am journaling through e-mail with several friends who are also reading it. All of this takes time. It's not like I lay on my couch all day, eating chocolate cover cherries and reading. (I wish)! So I am on Day 36 with only 4 more to go. All my journaling has caught up and I am ready to finish this. I am then going to start another book.. I haven't decided exactly what yet but "Next Door Savior" by Max Lucado has been tossed around. Maybe you have a suggestion for me?

Praying tomorrow goes smoother...... And knowing that Friday is only 2 days away helps too!

Monday, May 16, 2005

HUGE Tonsils in only a 28 pound boy!

Well we did it, we survived surgery! Friday morning we got up at 5am, and headed for the hospital. Alex of course wanted to know what we were doing up so early which was kind of hard to explain. At the hospital we got sent into our own recovery room with a personal bathroom and all. I was feeling surprisingly calm while Rick was more nervous. They gave Alex Versed. This is the "forget me drug". Alex was like a drunken 2 year old. It was hysterical as he tried to control himself, babbling, and having extreme giggles. Every time a nurse walked up he burst into fits of laughter. This made saying good bye to him just slightly more tolerable!

The nurse called and let us know they were starting the surgery and Alex was fully sedated. I asked if he cried at all and she said no, in fact he was having fits of laughter. He was laughing so hard that it was hard to keep the mask on him. This cracked me up!!

The first thing they did was the allergy testing. 50 needles into his upper thighs. He came out with blood pricks and purple marker all over his legs. This is not the one where they just prick you, but rather they fully inject the item under the skin thus giving them a better reading. Turns out Alex is allergic to Oranges (as is Rick's Mom) and Egg yolk and Egg white (just like Mom). Of course these are 2 of his favorite foods!! The good news is he is not deathly allergic to these items. They are causing a lot of mucus in his chest & sinuses. Thus more chest, ear & sinus infections and also asthma. Totally taking out eggs from his diet is nearly impossible. However, like me we will take out any food that eggs is in the top 3 ingredients. As for oranges we are going to try and totally take it out of the diet. So no more OJ. One thing I did learn is kids tend to crave exactly what they are allergic too. Go figure! As of today the needle marks are turning into nice green bruises and the marker is fading.

Next up was the tubes in his ears. Turns out the left tube totally fell out before surgery so they only had to drain that ear and insert a new tube. The right ear they removed the old tube, drained the ear and inserted a new tube. No problems here.......... No drainage since surgery which is far better then when he had them placed at 9 months.

Onto the tonsils and adnoids. Turns out the adnoids looked fine and were not enlarged so they didn't remove them! The doctor said the tonsils came out no problem but that the OR staff could not believe how HUGE they were in comparison to Alex. He said they should have come out of someone my husband's size. He jokingly told me, no wonder your not sleeping the kid can't breathe. Hopefully we see improvement soon.

Recovery was not easy. Alex was really groggy and refused to drink. Then the vomiting started. And wouldn't stop. 2 drugs later and 8 hours he finally stared to eat and drink. We got released at 5pm. Our night wasn't as bad as expected at all. A few rough spots but nothing horrible.

Since then things have had ups and downs! At times he is MISERABLE.. And other times it's like he never even had surgery. I heard day 3 (today) is suppose to be the worst day. So far it hasn't been bad just really tired and a lot of drooling. Yet he spits his pain meds back at me. (sigh).

Thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts!! Hopefully the week will pass quickly and we can be up playing again by the weekend.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Prayers requested for my Best Friend's Son!

A Little Background on my Best Friend Stacy's son TJ...

TJ spent yesterday in the doctors and hospital. They were afraid he had meningitis (sp), His glands are beyond swollen, stiff neck, fever, rash, the works! They are growing 2 blood cultures but they won't be ready till 1:30pm today. They sent him home.........9pm last night.. They rushed to the ER with a High fever that Advil was not touching, Shallow breathing, and extremely lethargic. They got admitted into the PICU, his Red Blood count was low and white count high. His blood pressure was very low. They quarantined him and Stacy and Eddie. They also did a spinal tap - it is NOT spinal meningitis. NOW, however, they are even more stumped as they do not know what it is. He was moved out of the PICU at 4am. TJ is now on a regular floor. He is getting high doses of antibiotics, and "sugar water" as he was very dehydrated. They have ordered a chest x-ray. At this time.. No signs of being released until they know exactly what he has. Please Pray for Lil' TJ. He sounds HORRIBLE! Also pray for Stacy and Eddie. Anyone who's child has been sick knows how badly these 2 are struggling.
They are at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, MO.

Thank you my Prayer Warriors!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The stomach is churning....

Soo... Why is it my son decides to start going through a growth spurt.. NOW! Just days before his surgery. The classic signs have appeared restless sleeping, crying out in his sleep, moaning, writhing all over the bed. (umm.. Yes, we can have worse nights than we already do). Also.. The eating has increased as has the falling. These are all classic signs of Alex's growth spurts! Ugh.. And they last about 2 weeks normally, and then suddenly things stop fitting him. As much as I LOVE to know he is growing, the timing on this one really STINKS!!!!!!!!!!

My stomach is up in arms over the up coming surgery. It's like my internal body clock is doing a count down to surgery. I am more stressed out about the recovery than the actual surgery! UGH... I just remember how bad the recovery stunk. My poor lil guy! The whole thought of them intubating him again really freaks me out too. Having seen the tube down his throat as an infant... Well... You can imagine the visuals. It is just something I hate. I worry about his lungs. I Just WORRY... I AM Martha after all. Isn't it my Job to worry?

Could someone send a message to my stomach to calm down until Friday??

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Hallmark, eat your heart out!

My Husband is my hero! When he really sets his mind to something, magic comes out! We are pretty short on money right now so I asked him not to buy me anything for Mother's Day. Not even a card I said. Why waste $2.50 on a Hallmark card I will only read once and throw away? Instead I got a GORGEOUS hand made card by BOTH my son and Husband. Not only celebrating Mother's Day but also the day I was Baptised! They designed it themselves, with Red roses and sunshines all over it. It will be a card I keep FOREVER!!!! Hallmark can only wish I would do the same! The card even had a Poem written to me by my Husband....

BY: Rick
A Mother's love extends beyond
her soft touch and healing hands
her gentle voice that understands
her sweet hugs that melt the tears away
Her companionship in lonely times
her sweet songs and lullabies
her way of comforting when were in pain
Her open heart which continuously pours
her love and care which heals all sores
her guidance that leads us through our toughest days
A Mother is a gift that continually blesses us
and all of these things are the reasons we thank her
Love, respect, honor and adore her
Everyday in our own special way.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of my Incredible Mommy Friends! I hope your day is just full of sunshine and laughter! 3 years ago on Mother's Day was the day I found out I was Pregnant. It was one of the most magical moments of my life.......... Now, we have an amazing son. Who's smile brightens up a whole room and whose hug makes even my worst moments bearable.

Today, will also mark another exciting moment in our lives. Today, Rick and I will be baptized. The sun is shining, the birds are awake and chirping. Today.... Will be a GOOD day!! I just ask that you pray for us today, that Satan stays away from us so that no fighting occurs, that the Lord surrounds my small family, wraps his cloak of love upon us, and lifts us up as a family as we move closer into God's Family. I am so excited....... I awoke with a smile on my face.

THANK YOU Jesus, for forgiving my sins, allowing me to get to know you, and accepting me into your incredible family. I am TRULY blessed.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Let the Games Begin.........

Today was Pre - Op day! Ohh the joy! I tried to start our morning off right and took my son to get donuts. Okay, I admit it, I was totally trying to bribe him! I figured if I buttered him up maybe I wouldn't feel so bad when they stuck the needle in his arm. We got in the truck and off we went. Alex asked where we were going and I was honest and told him the hospital. Luckily, he asked no more questions. Once inside I gave the lady at the desk his name and we went to sit down. So far... So good! He seemed a little nervous about being in the new place but basically was his normal chipper self..... Then..... His name was called. Alex held my hand and head toward the back, we sat in the big rocking chair and talked to the nurse. She told me they needed to do 2 blood tests, I told her he was going to have to be held down as he would freaked. She looked totally nervous. LOL. I wondered which one of them would freak out first. Sadly, at this point, I am feeling like a professional Mom. No biggie. I SWORE to myself I wouldn't cry. I knew that would only make Alex worse. First they did a stick in his left arm for the clotting test. They had a blood pressure cuff on him and he just cried and cried. He just did NOT want that nurse holding his arm. 5 minutes went by but he wouldn't clot because he was moving so much. Finally I got him to hold still long enough for it to "count". PHEW... One down.. One to go! We headed off down the hall and along the way encountered 4 nurses who asked is he the little one being stuck. YEP.. He would be the one... "Oh boy, I better come help". By this point we now have 5 nurses in the room, Alex and me. He saw all of them.... And just about nearly died! I am CERTAIN everyone in the waiting room heard his hollers of "Please Mama.. HOLD YOU"......... This Mama held a brave front determined to stay strong. 3 nurses held his legs and body, I held his 1 arm and head. The other 2 held his arm and did the stick. God, bless those poor women. She got the needle in which only turned my child white with screams. In the back of my mind I wonder if he would projectile vomit on all of them as revenge. It seriously would NOT have shocked me. Sadly, the nurse couldn't find the vein, and the digging for it began.... And on... And on... And on... I laid my head down on Alex's singing.. And finally I said Alex pray with Mama. He quieted down some still screaming. We prayed for the Lord to hold my song and calm him, letting him know he would be okay. We prayed for those nurses to find a vein and fast, we asked the lord to give me patience and to help me to remain calm. Finally I said AMEN. Alex, tears streaming down his face screamed out.. "AMEN"! Bless my baby's sweet lil heart. FINALLY 6 minutes later the nurse hit the vein, the blood began to pour and numerous vial's later we were done. Alex began to shake, exhausted, and drained. He cried and cried. The nurse put tape and cotton on the mark which only made Alex more mad as he ripped it off! Then I notice the vein is buldging... OMG... Turns out it was bleeding internally. GREAT...... Finally the swelling went down, Alex trembling in my arms slowly sipped apple juice as Mama tried to figure out how I was going to salvage the day. PHEW..... An hour 20 minutes of trauma for 2 sticks. Luckily we both survived! He has 2 nasty bruises on each arm but he is doing fine now. No aspirin as of today... And we are down to a week before the big day!

Asking for prayers this week to keep us busy and help the week go by fast and stress free!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Good News!

hooray!! No MRI Needed! Whoppie!

I have been playing phone tag with Alex's Neurosurgeon. We finally connected today with good news! YIPPEE! He said at this time he does not for see Alex needing a MRI anytime soon. So, while he is having his surgery next week he will NOT have to have a MRI. I am BEYOND happy with that report! PHEW! One less thing to worry about. He decided if when he saw him, he saw any major changes in his head measurement ETC..., that he would have us get a Cat Scan which he can be awake for and only takes a a minute or so.

We go to Birmingham to see the Neurosurgeon on June 29th - I am confident that all will be the same, and we will see no changes! I am praying on that!!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

I am getting Baptised!

I have been thinking about this in detail. I was baptised as an infant in a Catholic Church by my parents but I was not raised any religion. We never went to Church unless someone was getting married or someone died. Honestly, religion was not discussed in my house. In February, I finally chose Jesus Christ as my Savior. I have been working hard to walk a Christian life style. I am far from perfect but I pray daily, read my Bible and ask for forgiveness for my sins. My Church is having a group Baptism next Sunday. Today we discussed the meaning and purpose of being Baptised.

Then My friend sent me this:

How is baptism supposed to be done?

The word “Baptism” as found in the Bible is a Greek word that means “to immerse” when translated into English. Because of the importance of the symbolism and identification involved in baptism there is only one method that is acceptable Biblically - full immersion. The person is totally submerged in water.

Where is baptism to be done?

Baptism can be done anywhere there is enough water to immerse a person. It can be done in a church, in a river, a swimming pool, a lake, or in an ocean. Baptism must be a public ceremony. It is a public declaration of identification with Jesus Christ.

I am hoping maybe some of you can tell me your story of being Baptised. How it happened? What you had to do? How did you feel?

I want to think about this in detail before it actually occurs. I am having a hard time in my heart as my family does not support my choice. Some in my family claim they are Catholics but yet never go to Church. Other's just don't have any belief! I don't expect any of them to believe just because I do. I just want them to support me. Right now I don't have that, and it's hard. I have no "family" to talk to about this..... So here I am writing it here! LOL

Baptism is…

Baptism is how we get into Christ.
Baptism is always accompanied by faith and repentance.
Baptism is God’s terms of surrender.
Baptism is our signal to God we have accepted Christ’s gospel.
Baptism is the external washing with water and the internal washing away of sin by God.
Baptism is “calling on the name of the Lord.”
Baptism is being unified with Christ in his death, burial and resurrection.
Baptism is “clothing” ourselves with Christ.
Baptism is “accepting” Christ (on His terms, not ours)
Baptism is when our sins are forgiven.
Baptism is when we receive the Holy Spirit.
Baptism is how and when we come into contact with the blood of Christ.
Baptism is when we are reborn.
Baptism is an act of faith.
Baptism is how we enter the kingdom of God.
Baptism is when we are added to the body of Christ (the church).
Baptism is when we exchange our life for His.
Baptism is when we die to ourselves and come alive in Christ.
Baptism is the washing of regeneration, and renewal of the Holy Spirit.
Baptism is the starting gun of a race of a new life.
Baptism is proclaiming in Christ the resurrection of the dead.
Baptism is when the old dies and the new arises. In this manner we become saved.
Baptism is the point in time when we become saved.
Baptism is when we stop living for ourselves and start living for Jesus.
Baptism is how and when we scripturally make a conscious decision to dedicate our lives to Christ.
Baptism is how we scripturally enter into a relationship with Christ.
Baptism is the gavel striking the bench proclaiming forgiveness of sins, the end of the old and the birth of the new.

is done FOR the forgiveness of sins (
Acts 2:38)
is done to SAVE us (
1Peter 3:21, Acts 2:40, Mark 16:16)
Acts 22:16)
is done to be REBORN to new life (
John 3:5, Romans 6:3-6)
is done to CLOTHE ourselves with Christ (
Gal 3:26-27)
is done so that GOD will RESURRECT us from death (
Colossians 2:12, Romans 6:3-6)
is done as a REQUIRMENT to enter heaven (
John 3:5)
is done to put us INTO CHRIST (
Romans 6:3-6, Galatians 3:26-27, 1Corinthians 12:13)

When accompanied by faith and repentance, baptism (immersion) is how and when our sins are washed away. If it is not done for the purpose of washing our sins away (
Acts 22:16), it is not the ONE baptism of the New Testament (Ephesians 4:4-5) and therefore the “baptism” is invalid. It needs to be done in the correct, Scriptural manner.

When Jesus died on the cross, He, who had no sin, paid the death penalty for our sins. Through baptism we are united, or joined with Christ in paying the death penalty for sin. We are baptized into His death, into the death penalty for sin. We, who are unable to return from death because we have sin, are joined to Christ—and since Christ is sinless and was victorious over death, we, now being united with Him
through baptism, are made victorious being united with Christ in His resurrection.

Now if God allows us to participate in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ (an event which occurred 2000 years ago), through baptism, it can truly be said we are saved through faith and God’s grace!

Baptism can be likened to the Israelites coming up out of the land of slavery, passing through the Red Sea and entering the Promised Land. Baptism can be likened to passing through the flood of Noah. Baptism is about leaving our old sinful, worldly ways behind and taking upon our shoulders the yoke of Christ. It is about lifestyle change and dying to ourselves and doing God’s will instead of ours. Our reason and purpose for living changes after baptism. Afterward is a new way of life. Baptism is about heart, faith, total commitment, surrender, self-denial, death, resurrection, repentance, and seeking God’s mercy through Jesus Christ and the work He did on that cross on that day of infamy 2000 years ago.

See also
Romans 6:3-5
Baptism IS the gospel!