My life is flying past me.. It feels like forever since I have written an actual post. I have been in a rut. I am not exactly sure when it started I think it has been creeping up on me for months and then I got extremely busy and life just started happening without me having control of the reins.
My marriage... Is... Not solid right now. We seemed to have lost our touch. It's so hard with no money and no family here to jump in and give us a needed break. Alex is very high maintenance, always has been. He is still not sleeping all night nor alone. This I think is our largest problem as we never have couple time. We never get to make each other feel important and special. Cuddling?? what's that? Kissing?? Huh.... you get the picture. Our new form of communication is yelling at each other, snapping, and misreading clues. I actually dread him coming home from work. It is horribly sadding to me. I know a lot of it may be my fault... I dunno. sigh... please keep us in your prayers!!!
It's funny.. today I had an imagine. Have you ever had your child start to take off and you grab them by the back of the shirt and pull them back in? Today God grabbed me by the back of my collar and yanked me back, so hard in fact I nearly fell over! I can't explain it all.. but I just know God is calling my name, drawning me back. I always thought Christians were perfect and wondered how they kept their connection so strong. Now I realize we are not perfect just forgiven. God made us to be sinners, to make mistakes. At times in the journey your connection will be strong and it's as if you are sitting on God's palm, other times... it's as if you are floating through space miles and miles away from God, so far his voice sounds like a whisper. Sadly this is where I have been. sigh....
NOW.. Alex is sick. Started last night at 9:30 with projectile vomit all over my bathroom. Yuck.. then a fever of 102. at 1am. Fever broke around 4 when I headed back to bed. Awoke with a serious rattle in his chest, wheezing, and a cough. We started the Duo-neb breathing treatments right away every 4 hours. Fever seemed like it was gone but he was not 100%, seemed just tired. At nap time fever went back up to 102 again, so gave him couch syrup and motrin. Fever was still up at 7:30 so gave tylenol. Bizzare though he started acting insane. I mean seriously hyper! We ended up putting him in a luke warm bath and that seemed to finally calm him down so he could go to sleep. His face was beat red as were his chest and shoulders. Weirdest thing I have ever seen. He was so hyper... scary! He is sleeping now so we shall see what our night does! Please keep him in your prayers.
I am starting a diet tomorrow... or should I say chooising a healthier eating pattern. I am following the Body For Life plan. Rick and I did it before we got married and saw huge results. We also have numerous friends who have been doing it and also doing great. (of course they already looked pretty good but whatever), now they look really good. I have gained a ton of weight and honestly am just embaressed with myself. I have no good excuses except excuses! Bad...
GOALS for this week Monday through Saturday:
1. No Caffeine Soda (no pepsi, no coke)
2. No Sweet Tea
3. No Taco Bell
I am setting small goals and moving from there.... If I do everything at once I may have a serious break down! LOL.....
Well that pretty much sums everything up here!! Miss all my regular readers.. and hope you are well!
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4 comments:
Oh Martha, I'm so sorry things are not going so well between you and Rick right now. I'm sure it's just a phase, and having a high maitenance child can really take a toll on anyone's marriage. I'll pray that things get better soon!
Hon, we all have those phases in marriage when there's no communicating with "inside voices". I could bring Jadyn over and babysit sometime so you two can have a date night, if you'd like. Let me know!
Eek, I hope Alex is better! I have no idea how I'll handle the first time Jadyn gets sick. Scares me to death when she coughs more than twice!
And as for healthier eating, you go girl! The hardest part of any change is the first 2 weeks, so stick it out for that long and you'll be doing great!
I hope Alex gets better soon.
You guys HAVE to find coupletime. Ask some friends at church to take Alex for an evening, then stay in and, well, you know... Cheap date & you get some alone time. It is absolutely neccesary.
((((Martha))))
Bless your heart! Being married and being parents is hard to do at the same time! Just don't ever believe you're alone though, because you will never be. I loved what you said about God jerking you by the collar. I SO know that feeling. ;) I'm thankful to read that Alex is feeling better and that you all got to have some much needed couple time. You should go out on a date and leave Alex with a certain friend of mine in MS who loves little boys.... ;)
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