Want to go on a roller coaster ride? Join me on a day in my life. I guess I need to put this out there in order for people to pray with me and hold me. Break out your graphs. It has been since February 5th, 2005 since I accepted Christ. Some people still consider me a "baby" Christian others would battle that. I have no clue. I am on the roller coaster. As a new Christian I was higher than a kite overjoyed and learning at lightening speeds. In the past 3.5 years there have been drops when I was in waiting to "hear" God, but it was always short lived and quickly rebounded. Well.. I am currently in a "winter" of my faith.. praying for the rain. I am at the very bottom of the hill but.. looking upward waiting to hear Christ in my life once again. I am by nature an anxious person so I go searching for what could be "wrong" with me. I want to take control of this situation and get back up on top quickly.
To make me more anxious.. I am heading home to New Hampshire next Friday and will be surrounded by non-believers makes my nerves even more rattled. I went home last summer but was standing very solid on my rock. What will happen if I am unbalanced?
I know this must happen on His terms and His time but.. wish he would hurry up!!! :)
My "instinct" is to stay home and hide but I really don't think that is what God is wanting me to do. A good friend told me to stop being a control freak and Be still. I truly want too... But my anxiety is taking over. I suffer from an anxiety disorder so behaviors tend to take on a mind of their own.
PLEASE pray for me... I cannot tell you exactly what to pray for but... He does! Take it to Him and maybe He will speak through you to me.