Can she see the new Me?

My Mother arrived today! My Mother and I have had a very difficult relationship in the past and carry a lot of scars between us. I am not my Mother's "favorite" child yet I know I am deeply loved. I was the child that pushed, that question and that ALWAYS did the opposite of what I was told. I was child #3 and the first girl. I was the black sheep, the loud mouth, the emotional one, the wild child. I was never boring and always good for a laugh but I am certain I helped turned my Mother's naturally blond hair, white, much faster than it should have. It wasn't until I moved far away to CA, that my Mom and I could finally take a step back, look at the mess we had created and work towards a better relationship. I needed to grow up. I had to forgive her and let go of my hurts and apologize for the hurts I caused. With that done we began to find our way to a mature, adult relationship. I cherish my Mother. She is amazingly strong and vibrant. She is witty and extremely intelligent. The one thing she lacks is her judgment in men! LOL.. She settles for WAY less than she should. I think even she is starting to realize this.
I said earlier that I apologized to my Mom for the things I had done but I had never forgave myself. It is so much easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive yourself. I had no idea until recently when I began my life's reflection that I truly realized where all of my anger lied. It was buried so deep within me that It was as if at any moment "I was going to blow". I honestly had no idea. Then during the retreat Lori and I had a "moment", suddenly in the midst of her talking EVERYTHING bubbled up to the surface and It all became clear. I was no longer looking for anyone to apologize to me, I needed to apologize to God. What a mess I had turned this precious gift called Life that HE had given me. At 30 years old I finally realized this was no longer about anyone else, the blame ended that day, the anger and resentment ended that day, On February 5th I suddenly found Peace for the first time in my life.
My husband has made numerous comments to me sense how different I seem. He said I am so calm.. At peace.. And much easier to deal with. Our "fights" are no longer Martha taking something small and blowing it up with screaming, yelling, and name calling, my sailor tongue has gone away. I am THRILLED he has noticed my change and I am more excited to say it has taken ZERO effort on my part. I have begun to long for my quiet reflective prayer time in the morning and at night. My prayers are getting longer and longer... I sometimes wonder if Jesus is going to ask me to be quiet... LOL
My Mother is a "Catholic", I use the word in quotes because she is Baptized and Confirmed BUT she does not go to church nor does she have a "relationship or connection" with God. This makes me nervous to tell her what has happened in my life. Not because I am ashamed but more because I don't think she will understand. She may even think I am slightly crazy. I was once in her shoes and have thought those same things of others. However, will SHE notice the changes in me while she is here? Will she feel my calming vibes? Will she feel God's love reaching out to her through me? Will she go to church with us on Sunday and listen with a open heart? Would she understand if I told her? Do I even NEED to tell her? All these burning questions that only time and God will tell. I continue to pray and ask God for the tools to continue to help me find my way down this new Path to him.